Health

UK morgues full of unconscious people

BRITAIN'S mortuaries are full of people who are probably just really badly hurt, according to new research.

Drunk man at bar not lying about being a surgeon

THE pisshead you met at the weekend was telling the truth when he claimed to be a top surgeon.

Doctors' receptionists urged to be less terrifying

PATIENTS have asked doctors' receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.

Organs really up for being donated

BRITAIN'S organs are very much in favour of being donated.

Why was corned beef being sold to anyone?

CONSUMERS have demanded to know why corned beef is available.

Nurses to be trained in nursing

NURSES will be trained to do other things instead of just looking busy and pretending to be doctors.