Worrall Thompson Foiled
CELEBRITY chef Antony Worrall Thompson has been foiled in his bid to kill the entire readership of Healthy & Organic Living magazine.
Worrall Thompson had prepared a series of recipes including baked Alaskan salmon with ground glass and weed killer and an organic salade nicoise dressed with two litres of Domestos.
The magazine has now issued an urgent apology and will refund the full cost of the August edition to all those who die.
Worrall Thompson said last night: "When I was approached by Healthy & Organic Living it occurred to me immediately that this would be great opportunity to kill them all.
"I took great care in preparing these lethal recipes and I am extremely disappointed that the readers of this unbearable magazine will not be annihilated."
He added: "'Oooh look at me, I'm living all healthy and organic because I'm so very fucking special'.
"'When I go to the supermarket I wear a face mask to protect me from the stench of people who eat fish fingers'.
"'Then I buy my copy of Healthy & Organic Living and leave it lying around the house so all my guests can see immediately that I am in fact, A C*NT!'.
"Eat the salmon of death motherfuckers! EAT IT!"