AFRICANS DISAPPOINTED TO DISCOVER $100 LAPTOPS ARE NOT FULL OF FOOD

COMMUNITIES across Africa have revealed their disappointment that the new $100 laptops contain no nutritional value.

A bit chewy

The scheme, organised by western technology companies, is designed to give young Africans the chance to play Tetris before their village is burned to the ground.

Meanwhile, as broadband is rolled out across the continent, millions of Africans have been surprised to discover it is a sophisticated communications network rather than a big pipe full of rice.

Fourteen year-old Lizzie Matumba, from Ivory Coast, welcomed the laptop initiative but said the early models did not look very tasty.

She added: "You have a beautiful food mountain in Europe, yes? Any chance I could work my way through $100 worth of that?

"I promise I will then write a presentation about how hungry I was using the latest version of Microsoft Office."

Twelve year-old Robert Otengwe said: "I am very much looking forward to using my laptop to order fresh bread and vegetables from Amazon.

"Tell me, do they deliver to Chad and do they accept payment in tiny pebbles?"

Wayne Hayes, spokesman for the $100 Laptop Foundation, said: "At first they will probably be used by local warlords to plan genocide more efficiently and divert aid money to Switzerland. But eventually these laptops will allow millions of Africans to order cheap DVDs."

He added: "Should we sell laptops to Africans, rather than just giving them free food? That's a big philosophical question isn't it?"

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