Please do Trump next, Irish women told

IRISH women have been asked if they could please do something about Trump next.

Following a landslide referendum vote to liberalise their country’s abortion laws, Irish women now face widespread appeals to ‘sort out’ Donald Trump.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “They have achieved the seemingly impossible by convincing their grandparents to make a humane voting choice even though it’s an area that concerns shagging.

“Hopefully they’ve got a ‘to do’ list and the next thing on it is Donald Trump, closely followed by Brexit and wasps.”

Irish woman Mary Fisher said: “We’re actually feeling a bit rough today, as you might have heard it was a big weekend. But we’ll have a look at this Trump thing early next week.

“We’re aware of the problem but I’m sure something can be done. After all there’s only one of him and shitloads of us.”