Euros disintegrating in sunlight
EURO banknotes are dissolving into thin air at the touch of the sun as if they were never real.
Across the continent, 100 Euro notes turned into rectangles of blank paper in wallets, 50 Euro notes crumbled like ash when touched and 500 Euro notes melted into twinkling golden lights which blow in the wind.
The event has plunged Europe into financial turmoil, with stock market screens’ scrolling lists of zeros becoming ASCII rainbows and unicorns.
Jacques Vernet, manager of the Société Générale bank in Paris, said: “My clerks opened their cash drawers and the Euros fluttered upwards like beautiful butterflies, disintegrating in shafts of sunlight.
“I rushed to the vault but there was nothing left but a blinding luminescence. I heard a woman’s voice whisper ‘au revoir,’ gently into my ear, and when I opened my eyes the vault was empty.”
Herman Van Rompuy, President of the European Council, told members: “I saw a case of banknotes turned into golden leaves. I saw a handful of coins turned into iridescent pebbles that made a sound like music as they fell to the floor.
“Could it be that the single currency we believed in for so long was just a dream? Just a wonderful, wonderful dream?”
German financier Hans Gruber said: “I stared at my 20-Euro note as the colours and lines on it writhed around like a thing alive, never the same twice, until it turned into an old Reichsmark note bearing the face of Hitler.
“And – God help me – I was glad to see him.”