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	<title>The Daily Mash &#187; International</title>
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		<title>Turkish protestors threaten to deploy drunk Britons</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/turkish-protestors-threaten-to-deploy-drunk-britons-2013061372096</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Jun 2013 09:37:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[PROTESTORS in Turkey have threatened to utilise drunk Britons against government forces.]]></description>
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		<title>NSA admits it created internet so it could spy on it</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/nsa-admits-it-created-internet-so-it-could-spy-on-it-2013061071553</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jun 2013 10:41:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=71553</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE US National Security Agency has revealed it created the internet after realising it would make spying a much easier job.]]></description>
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		<title>Mandela and Prince Philip exchange sarcastic &#8216;get well soon&#8217; cards</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/mandela-and-prince-philip-exchange-sarcastic-get-well-soon-cards-2013061071444</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jun 2013 08:28:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NELSON Mandela and Prince Philip have sent each other 'get well' messages dripping with poisonous sarcasm.]]></description>
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		<title>Living on sunlight doesn&#8217;t work, say Somalians</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/living-on-sunlight-doesnt-work-say-somalians-2013060771290</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Jun 2013 09:42:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[AMERICAN Navenna Shine&#8217;s experiment with living on water and sunlight is doomed to failure, according to people in Somalia. Somalian Ahmed Hashi said: &#8220;We recently tried the whole living without food thing, more through necessity than choice. It didn&#8217;t go so well, despite an abundance of sunlight about a quarter of a million people died. [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Game of Thrones-themed wedding ends in spectacular bloodshed</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/game-of-thrones-themed-wedding-ends-in-massive-bloodshed-2013060470813</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Jun 2013 09:30:38 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE wedding of Napster founder Sean Parker ended with numerous fatalities after guests misunderstood its <em>Game of Thrones</em> theme.]]></description>
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		<title>Just don&#8217;t make me go back to that shop, says Ikea monkey</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/just-dont-make-me-go-back-to-that-shop-says-ikea-monkey-2013053170478</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 May 2013 08:52:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=70478</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE monkey found in Ikea has issued a heartfelt plea not to be sent back there.]]></description>
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		<title>Cameron to arm Syrian rebels with a camping stove</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/cameron-to-arm-syrian-rebels-with-a-camping-stove-2013051468634</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 May 2013 09:36:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=68634</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SYRIA'S rebels need a camping stove, some cutlery and a good, solid frying pan, David Cameron has confirmed.]]></description>
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		<title>International Space Station basically a floating student house</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/international-space-station-basically-a-floating-student-house-2013051468585</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 May 2013 07:32:49 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE International Space Station is a dirty, smelly mess, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>UK to leave whatever it joins after leaving EU</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/uk-to-leave-whatever-it-joins-after-leaving-eu-2013051368469</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 09:13:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[SENIOR Tories have backed a referendum on Britain leaving whatever international set-up it joins after quitting the European Union.]]></description>
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		<title>Gun enthusiasts 3D-print a functioning Charlton Heston</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/gun-enthusiasts-3d-print-functioning-charlton-heston-2013050767766</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 May 2013 09:48:27 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[US FIREARMS lobbyists have used a 3D printer to produce a fully-functioning Charlton Heston. Heston&#8217;s vital statistics were programmed into the machine, which was then fed with 86kg of Lego bricks. An NRA spokesman said: &#8220;Charlton was demanding his 2nd amendment rights before it&#8217;d even finished printing his mouth. &#8220;However we&#8217;ve only done his top [...]]]></description>
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		<title>&#8216;Volunteer Aid&#8217; seeks volunteers to rescue volunteers</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/volunteer-aid-seeks-volunteers-to-rescue-volunteers-2013050267413</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 May 2013 08:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A NEW international scheme is recruiting students to help save other gap year volunteers from their own stupidity.]]></description>
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		<title>Top of Everest &#8216;quite a rough area&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/top-of-everest-quite-a-rough-area-2013050167356</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 May 2013 10:00:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[YOU&#8217;RE better off avoiding the top of Everest at night, it has been claimed. After a brawl broke out between climbers and sherpas, locals said they wouldn&#8217;t recommend going to the summit after dark. Base camp resident Roy Hobbs said: &#8220;Everest used to be such a nice mountain, but now its always kicking off up [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Dutch king launches novelty bong website</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/dutch-king-launches-novelty-bong-website-2013043067219</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Apr 2013 11:09:34 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67219</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE new King of the Netherlands is to launch a website selling bongs shaped like TV and film characters. Willem-Alexander said the range will include Yoda, Fat Kirstie Alley and Monkey from the TV series Monkey. He also announced that the website will donate 15% of its profits to a farm near Rotterdam where people [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Scottish currency to be mickle or bawbee</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/uncategorized/scottish-currency-to-be-mickle-or-bawbee-2013042466579</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:23:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[AN independent Scotland will launch its own currency that sounds like something out of a Robert Burns poem. Previous plans to keep the pound but call it &#8216;the poond&#8217; have been abandoned in favour of a new currency, with officials debating a mickle-muckle decimal system versus &#8216;the bawbee&#8217;, which would be pegged to the Icelandic [...]]]></description>
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		<title>US gun laws working fine apart from the occasional rampage, say senators</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/us-gun-laws-working-fine-apart-from-the-occasional-rampage-say-senators-2013041966039</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:16:49 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=66039</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE US Senate has decide that its existing gun laws are functioning well except for the odd murder spree.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>BBC told students there were cheap Jagerbombs in North Korea</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/bbc-told-students-there-were-cheap-jagerbombs-in-north-korea-2013041565616</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 09:18:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65616</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE BBC lured a group of students to North Korea with the promise of a 3-for-1 deal on Jagerbombs. The corporation handed out free plane tickets in envelopes with &#8216;NK Foam Party &#8211; Go Mental!!!&#8217; written on them. A BBC source said: &#8220;The plan was that loads of students in tigerprint onesies and tutus would [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Vatican computers exorcised</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/vatican-computers-exorcised-2013041165398</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:34:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65398</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE Vatican&#8217;s IT system fell victim to demonic possession, it has been claimed. A Vatican spokesman said: &#8220;Satanic forces took hold of our PCs, manifesting images of transgender porno divas, in particular the succubus Tiffany Starr. &#8220;I understand the demons also logged onto xhamster for a bit and browsed around the &#8216;Amateurs&#8217; section. &#8220;All our [...]]]></description>
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		<title>North Korea &#8216;may not be performance art&#8217;, say experts</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/north-korea-may-not-be-performance-art-say-experts-2013040464740</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Apr 2013 09:39:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=64740</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NORTH Korea is not an elaborate modern art installation, as previously suspected.]]></description>
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		<title>Some people will get eaten, admit creators of &#8216;real-life Jurassic Park&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/some-peopl-2013040264505</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Apr 2013 09:52:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE team behind a cutting-edge robot dinosaur park in Australia have admitted that multiple deaths are inevitable. Designer Roy Hobbs said: &#8220;Will the dinosaur robots malfunction during a storm, somehow becoming re-programmed to &#8216;kill mode&#8217; and wreaking bloody havoc? &#8220;Of course they will. We predict at least 30 tourists will be torn limb from limb. [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Supreme Court to rule on eating shellfish</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/us-supreme-court-to-make-historic-ruling-on-eating-shellfish-2013032864083</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 08:19:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[International]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=64083</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE US Supreme Court is debating whether America should follow Biblical laws on eating shellfish.]]></description>
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