YOUNG Conservatives are planning to mark the death of Nelson Mandela with something vile.
ECUADOR last night took a major step forward in its plan to breed pasty-faced nerds in captivity.
PROTESTORS in Turkey have threatened to utilise drunk Britons against government forces.
THE US National Security Agency has revealed it created the internet after realising it would make spying a much easier job.
NELSON Mandela and Prince Philip have sent each other 'get well' messages dripping with poisonous sarcasm.