International

Ecuador to breed endangered nerds

ECUADOR last night took a major step forward in its plan to breed pasty-faced nerds in captivity.

Turkish protestors threaten to deploy drunk Britons

PROTESTORS in Turkey have threatened to utilise drunk Britons against government forces.

NSA admits it created internet so it could spy on it

THE US National Security Agency has revealed it created the internet after realising it would make spying a much easier job.

Mandela and Prince Philip exchange sarcastic 'get well soon' cards

NELSON Mandela and Prince Philip have sent each other 'get well' messages dripping with poisonous sarcasm.

Game of Thrones-themed wedding ends in spectacular bloodshed

THE wedding of Napster founder Sean Parker ended with numerous fatalities after guests misunderstood its Game of Thrones theme.

Just don't make me go back to that shop, says Ikea monkey

THE monkey found in Ikea has issued a heartfelt plea not to be sent back there.

Cameron to arm Syrian rebels with a camping stove

SYRIA'S rebels need a camping stove, some cutlery and a good, solid frying pan, David Cameron has confirmed.