International

This long tunnel proves we are sexy, say Swiss

BUILDING the longest tunnel in the world proves that Switzerland is a sexy and desirable nation, says the country’s president.

Non-conformist nutter is pro-EU

A CONSPIRACY theorist, UFO nut and street-ranter has surprised everyone by being a fervent supporter of the In campaign.

Furious expats to vote through their adult children

EXPATRIATES who cannot participate in the EU referendum have vowed to give their children detailed instructions on how to vote.

Fascism crushed by 0.6 percent

AUSTRIAN voters have rejected fascism by a landslide margin of over half a percent.

Scottish Labour beaten into ninth place by Human Sacrifice Party

THE Labour Party in Scotland has finished ninth behind a party promising more human sacrifices.

Trump finding increasingly stupid ways to tell people how clever he is

DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.

SNP fury as new Scottish £5 note fails to support independence

SCOTTISH Nationalists have reacted with fury to a new bank note design that does not demand independence.

Obama asks who Boris Johnson is then laughs when told

PRESIDENT Barack Obama has enjoyed learning about Boris Johnson.