UKRAINE is to be detached from the earth and floated 6,000m above sea level so Russia will not be tempted to invade.
A LOYAL iPhone charger has crossed a continent to be reunited with its owner.
EU CHIEFS have ordered Greece to give up its sunny climate, sandy beaches and general pleasantness.
COMFORTABLY-OFF socialists in the UK have expressed concern that Alexis Tsipras appears to live without lots of nice things.
GREEK voters have defied expectation by choosing not to be beaten like cringing dogs for the next five years.
THE facial appendage on Tutankhamun’s burial mask is a hastily-attached chair leg, it has emerged.
UNDERCOVER reporter Mazher Mahmood, posing as an Arab sheikh, has become the new ruler of Saudi Arabia.
DISCUSSIONS at the World Economic Forum have been derailed by world leaders throwing bundles of Euros and dollars at each other.