Relieved Britain no longer biggest f**k-up of 2016

BRITAIN has woken up relieved to find its idiotic act of self-harm earlier this year is now a piffling historical footnote.

Of course Americans are stupid enough to do this, say experts

EXPERTS have stressed that of course America is genuinely stupid enough to elect a deranged murder clown as its president.

Trump shocked to discover women can vote

DONALD Trump is furious after discovering that women can vote in elections.

World to enjoy its last day of relative sanity 

PEOPLE around the world are deciding how to spend their last day before Donald Trump becomes US President.

Calais Jungle already turned into luxury apartments

THE refugee camp in Calais has already become luxury apartments that only footballers and bankers can afford.

Coachload of annoying British schoolchildren arrives in Calais

A COACH packed with British children has arrived in Calais, where they are being right little bastards.

Britain ‘mystified’ more seven-year-old children haven’t made unaccompanied 2,300 mile journey from Syria

MILLIONS of Britons are surprised at how few seven-year-old refugees have journeyed alone across the whole of Europe.

Dead people confirm support for Trump

THE undead have pledged their support for Donald Trump in the US presidential election.