Knox resigned to spending four out of every eight years in prison

AMANDA Knox has pretty much accepted that she will be in and out of prison on a rolling eight year cycle.

Pope insists foot kissing 'not gay'

THERE is nothing gay about gently washing another man's feet and then giving them a kiss, the Pope has confirmed.

Jedi church split on ewok-wookiee marriage

LEADING Jedis are divided on marriage between different alien species, it has emerged.

Independent Scottish army 'would be nothing like Braveheart'

IF an independent Scottish army is not going to be like Braveheart then there is no point in doing it, everyone has agreed.

Vatican sticks with Nazi theme

THE Vatican has maintained its recent trend of choosing Popes who were adjacent to fascism.