Clinton in narrow victory over deranged baboon

HILLARY Clinton remained on course for the White House despite an unconvincing debate victory over a crazed baboon.

Britain needs coffee and a fag before reading about Trump again

BRITAIN has said it will catch up with the latest Trump news after some strong stimulants.

Farage to school Trump in the art of seduction

NIGEL Farage is to rescue Donald Trump’s campaign by training the Republican candidate in the art of seduction.

And we were so close to voting for Trump, say women

WOMEN voters in the US have admitted that Donald Trump has really let them down.

The Mash guide to the presidential debate

AMERICA’S presidential candidates have clashed on live television - but who won the debate?

Delightful scamp Prince George threatening to have everyone beheaded

ADORABLE scallywag Prince George has been melting hearts in Canada by threatening to execute everyone.

Trump campaign apologises for using analogy

DONALD Trump has apologised for his son’s ‘reckless and confusing’ use of non-literal communication in his presidential campaign.

May wins over US with ‘pathetic grovelling’ strategy

THERESA May has persuaded US business leaders not to ignore the UK by begging pathetically.