It was 'Adam and Steve' all along, confirms Pope

CLOSE examination of the Bible has revealed  it was 'Adam and Steve' in the Garden of Eden the whole time.

Give back everything you bought with foreign aid, say tight bastards

COUNTRIES must give back anything they bought with foreign aid from the UK, mean-spirited Britons have demanded.

But Putin has such an honest face, says everyone

VLADIMIR Putin has such kind eyes that it is impossible to imagine him doing anything shady, according to the public.

Middle class family already planning trip to Palmyra

A MIDDLE CLASS family has booked a trip to Palmyra in Syria to see the historical site before the crowds.

Hostages sort of assumed selfie man was planning to overpower hijacker

HOSTAGES aboard the hijacked EgyptAir plane assumed 'selfie man' was planning a heroic act, it has emerged.

ISIS issues tired, idiotic cliches

ISIS has tried and failed to issue a scary-sounding statement.

Bellend community accused of sheltering Trump

DONALD Trump remains at large because fellow bellends refuse to disclose his whereabouts, it has been claimed.

Trump’s running mate to be Wesley Snipes in 'Demolition Man'

DONALD Trump has chosen a character from the 1993 film Demolition Man to be his vice presidential running mate.