SEBASTIAN Coe has urged the government to start annexing small defenceless countries to boost Team GB’s medal hopes.
NORTH Korea has laughed off the mix-up which saw the South Korean flag accompany their women’s football team’s arrival at Glasgow’s Hampden Stadium.
BRITAIN is to simultaneously help both sides in Syria's bloody civil war, it has emerged.
THE People's Republic of China has announced plans for its entire female population to become astronauts.
TICKETS for the London 2012 Olympics belonging to Russian president Vladimir Putin are available for purchase on eBay.
KOFI Annan has floored Syria's President Bashar al-Assad with a single blow.
EURO banknotes are dissolving into thin air at the touch of the sun as if they were never real.
PRESIDENT Francois Hollande has confirmed France’s unconditional surrender to the Norse god of thunder.