International

Edinburgh trams 'worth 400 year wait'

EDINBURGH'S tram service has finally opened after 400 years of planning.

I’d have eaten toddler myself if it was smaller, says 'hero cat'

AMERICA'S 'hero cat' has admitted she would kill humans if they were small enough to fit in her mouth.

Putin compares Charles to Anthea Turner

VLADIMIR Putin has compared Prince Charles to Anthea Turner because he is a ‘fragrant, middle-aged woman with no power’.

I thought the parade was very jolly, says Putin

RUSSIAN President Vladimir Putin has insisted the massive military parade through Red Square today was ‘rather jolly’.

Russia and Ukraine still going to vote for each other in Eurovision

THE Ukraine and Russia are to give each other maximum points in the Eurovision song contest despite basically being at war.

I only want Scotland to be independent so I can destroy it, admits Salmond

ALEX Salmond has finally admitted he hates Scotland and wants the country to be independent so he can abolish it.

Cornwall to celebrate new status with disgusting amount of cream

CORNWALL will today celebrate its new minority status with an unstoppable deluge of fresh cream.

Kate wins over Australia with anti-Kiwi racism

THE Duchess of Cambridge has been taken to Australian hearts after a series of increasingly racist comments about New Zealand.