International

Everyone finally understands big nuclear thing

THE big nuclear thing in Japan finally made sense today after some people said it was now the same number as something you have heard of.

Now apologise for America, Britain told

IF Britain is in the mood for apologising for things it should really add America to its list, it was claimed last night.

Fingers crossed Libyan rebels aren't insane

THE United Nations last night had its fingers crossed that the Libyan rebels it has just backed are not stark, raving lunatics.

Gaddafi welcomed by online forums

LIBYAN leader Colonel Gaddafi has been offered sanctuary by the internet's legion of keyboard warriors.

UK rescue attempt convinces Brits to stay in Libya

UK attempts to rescue British citizens trapped in Libya have convinced most of them to dig a big hole in the sand and live in it.

Libya facing civil war over how to kill Gaddafi

LIBYA was split down the middle last night over how Colonel Gaddafi should eventually be killed.

William Hague thinks you're in Venezuela

YOU are probably in Venezuela, foreign secretary William Hague has confirmed.

Call for Middle East protests to be about Cheryl Cole

THE wave of protest across the Middle East needs a unifying theme that any moron can understand, it was claimed last night.