International

Paul Dacre institutionalised, 600 of his journalists on medication...

In this comfortingly plausible account, THE DAILY MASH imagines the day the Mail invaded the Falklands.

Kim Jong Un waiting on IT support

APOCALYPSE facilitator Kim Jong Un will start his new job as soon as IT has helped him login to his work computer.

North Korea to execute Kim Jong Il's heart attack

KIM Jong-Il's fatal heart attack is to be executed by firing squad, it has been confirmed.

French shocked by lack of shock

THE people of France have been left shocked by the complete absence of shock they feel at former president Jacques Chirac being found guilty of embezzlement.

Everyone still pretending they know what they're talking about

THREE days after the exploding Euro-summit, everyone is still pretending that they know what is going to happen.

Putin avoids corruption allegations by deciding result two weeks ago

THE result of Russia's parliamentary election was decided two weeks ago and then locked in a safe to prevent corruption.

Arabic word for 'spring' is same as Arabic word for 'tear gas'

THE 'Arab Spring' is a mistranslation, it has emerged.

Monti pledges to deskankify Italian politics

ITALY'S new prime minister has begun the deskankification of the country's politics.