ISIS issues tired, idiotic cliches

ISIS has tried and failed to issue a scary-sounding statement.

Bellend community accused of sheltering Trump

DONALD Trump remains at large because fellow bellends refuse to disclose his whereabouts, it has been claimed.

Trump’s running mate to be Wesley Snipes in 'Demolition Man'

DONALD Trump has chosen a character from the 1993 film Demolition Man to be his vice presidential running mate.

Snakes celebrate being driven out of Ireland

SNAKES across the world are celebrating the day St Patrick drove them out of Ireland to live in lovely hot countries.

Scotland secretly in love with England

THE people of Scotland have admitted to the secret love they have for the English.

'But he was my black friend' says Cameron

THE prime minister has admitted feeling bereft after criticism by his only black friend, President Obama.

Dire warnings ‘don’t work when delivered in French’

THE French language just makes threats sound alluring or delicious, it has been confirmed.

US election drags on with Super Caucus Wednesday Tedious Bullshit Thing

AMERICA’S elections have entered their umpteenth day of tedious self-indulgence with some more pointless bullshit.