Syria same

SYRIANS are having a typical Monday, it has been confirmed.

Paris incredibly beautiful, confirm experts

PARIS is just amazing and if you have not been there you should definitely go, it has been confirmed.

Chinese demand for English upper class idiots soars

PRESIDENT Xi Jinping’s friendship with David Cameron has led to a surge in Chinese demand for our public school idiots.

Bono claims victory in Myanmar elections

BONO has taken power in Myanmar following three decades of tireless campaigning.

Thai hipster opens British ‘street food’ cafe

A THAI hipster has opened a cafe in Bangkok selling authentic British ‘street food’, it has emerged.

Shaker Aamer loves the West now

GUANTANAMO Bay prisoner Shaker Aamer has completely changed his mind about Western governments after being held without charge for 13 years.

Tony Blair: If only someone had warned me against Iraq war at the time

Where were these Middle East policy experts telling me that military action was a terrible idea back in 2003?

North ‘must do better as a hemisphere’

NORTHERN hemisphere patriots are undergoing a bout of soul-searching following their half of the planet’s poor rugby performance.