SCOTLAND was last night fleeing in terror after a surprise attack from the first battalion of Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph.
AMERICANS can urinate on our dead bodies as much as they feel like, the Taliban said last night.
INDEPENDENCE could leave Scotland exactly the same in every way, experts warned last night.
FRANCE has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be ruled by a bastard of unparalleled magnificence.
In this comfortingly plausible account, THE DAILY MASH imagines the day the Mail invaded the Falklands.
APOCALYPSE facilitator Kim Jong Un will start his new job as soon as IT has helped him login to his work computer.
KIM Jong-Il's fatal heart attack is to be executed by firing squad, it has been confirmed.
THE people of France have been left shocked by the complete absence of shock they feel at former president Jacques Chirac being found guilty of embezzlement.
- Everyone still pretending they know what they're talking about
- Putin avoids corruption allegations by deciding result two weeks ago
- Arabic word for 'spring' is same as Arabic word for 'tear gas'
- Monti pledges to deskankify Italian politics
- Iran better not f*ck me around today, warns cigarette-free Obama