International

US Church To Commemorate 9-11 By Causing Another One

A CHURCH in Florida is to commemorate the anniversary of the 9-11 atrocity by causing another one.

Pope 'Using UK Taxpayers Like Giant Condom'

THE Pope was last night accused of using British taxpayers to protect himself from non-sexually transmitted bullets.

Chilean Mine Starting To Sound Not Bad

BEING trapped down a mine shaft in Chile for four months is starting to sound not too bad, men across Britain said last night.

Chinese Celebrate As Their Lives Become As Pointless And Frustrating As Ours

THE Chinese were celebrating another great leap forward today as their lives finally achieved Western levels of hellish pointlessness.

20% Of Americans Think Obama Is A Talking Car

ONE in five Americans believe that President Barack Obama is a car that can talk, according to a new survey.

He's Not Really Going To Use That Money For A Bus, Is He? Asks Scottish Government

THE Scottish government has conceded that the dishevelled young man it gave 50 pence to last year has probably spent it on drugs or alcohol.

Outrage Over Plans To Build Library Next To Sarah Palin

PLANS to build a state-of-the-art library next to Republican catastrophe Sarah Palin are causing outrage across mainstream America.

Lourdes Unveils Latest Hoax

LOURDES, home of the magic Jesus bath, has added fake car bombs to its hoax repertoire.