North Korea to execute Kim Jong Il's heart attack

KIM Jong-Il's fatal heart attack is to be executed by firing squad, it has been confirmed.

French shocked by lack of shock

THE people of France have been left shocked by the complete absence of shock they feel at former president Jacques Chirac being found guilty of embezzlement.

Everyone still pretending they know what they're talking about

THREE days after the exploding Euro-summit, everyone is still pretending that they know what is going to happen.

Putin avoids corruption allegations by deciding result two weeks ago

THE result of Russia's parliamentary election was decided two weeks ago and then locked in a safe to prevent corruption.

Arabic word for 'spring' is same as Arabic word for 'tear gas'

THE 'Arab Spring' is a mistranslation, it has emerged.

Monti pledges to deskankify Italian politics

ITALY'S new prime minister has begun the deskankification of the country's politics.

Iran better not f*ck me around today, warns cigarette-free Obama

GIVING up smoking has put Barack Obama in the mood to launch a few warheads, it emerged last night.

Papandreou attempts the short grift

GEORGE Papandreou may be trying to con Europe with the short grift, experts have claimed.