International

Assange's cultural references so 2012

WIKILEAKS founder Julian Assange has told reporters at the Ecuadorian embassy that he is unchained like Django and to call him maybe.

Cat-eating python a folk hero to local wildlife

A 12-foot Burmese python blamed for cat disappearances has been hailed as a hero by mice and rabbits.

Scots welcome smug English twat letter

SCOTLAND has welcomed a letter urging the country to reject independence, signed by a collection of fancy English celebrities.

English viewers miss Salmond trying to bite Alistair Darling

ENGLISH viewers were unable to watch last night’s Scottish independence debate, including the moment Alex Salmond tried to bite Alistair Darling on the face.

British and German holidaymakers joint worst, says rest of Europe

EUROPE has ended the argument about whether British or German holidaymakers are the worst by confirming that they both are.

Israel offers eight-second ceasefire

ISRAEL has reached out to Palestinians with the offer of a ceasefire lasting almost nine seconds.

Marchers ordered to amble instead

NORTHERN Ireland’s marching season is to be transformed into a series of pleasant strolls.

Dubai unveils Twatopolis

A MASSIVE dome full of the horrible things that twats like is to be built in Dubai.