International

Americans warn Scotland about ‘hope-change bullshit’

ORDINARY Americans have warned Scotland the momentous change it is being sold is total bullshit.

Queen ‘would be interested in Scotland if it was a horse’

THE Queen is not particularly interested in Scotland because she is unable to ride it.

Brown woos Scots with thrilling timetable

GORDON Brown has pledged to save Britain with an exciting timetable of parliamentary debates.

Salmond still not sure what he means by ‘independence’

SNP leader Alex Salmond has admitted he has never been entirely sure what he means when he says ‘independence’.

Obama discovers ‘nato’ is Welsh for ‘herpes’

WELSH schoolchildren yesterday told President Obama that ‘nato’ means ‘herpes’ in their native language.

Knee-jerk response to ISIS taking an awfully long time

WESTERN governments are taking too long to come up with an ill-thought out response to ISIS, it has been claimed.

Russia lines up more non-cute animals to die in space

FOLLOWING the deaths of the geckos on its satellite, Russia is to send more unappealing species on one-way space journeys.

Australia wants to get its war on

AUSTRALIA has said it is willing to join bombing missions in Iraq, or anywhere else, because it loves a good fight.