International

Blair to turn anti-extremist group into pragmatic, extremist-friendly brand

TONY Blair has pledged to transform an anti-extremist organisation into ‘a brand that extremists can trust’.

Clegg bans Putin from Sheffield Hallam

FORMER deputy prime minister Nick Clegg has warned Vladimir Putin not to enter Sheffield Hallam.

European leaders not allowing Cameron to use toilet

NONE of the European leaders visited on David Cameron’s whistle-stop tour of Europe are letting him use the toilet.

Bin Laden was 9/11 conspiracy theorist

OSAMA bin Laden was convinced that the CIA were responsible for the 9/11 attacks despite planning them himself, it has emerged.

Galloway blocks Obama

GEORGE Galloway has blocked Barack Obama on Twitter.

Scots to look down on Northern Britain as effete, snobbish South

SCOTLAND has agreed to repurpose Northern Britain as a new south for them to look down on.

Last Moon Nazi dies

THE last of the renegade Nazis living in a self-sufficient lunar colony has died, aged 95.

Scotland becomes even more weird

SCOTLAND has somehow managed to become even more unusual.