International

Galloway blocks Obama

GEORGE Galloway has blocked Barack Obama on Twitter.

Scots to look down on Northern Britain as effete, snobbish South

SCOTLAND has agreed to repurpose Northern Britain as a new south for them to look down on.

Last Moon Nazi dies

THE last of the renegade Nazis living in a self-sufficient lunar colony has died, aged 95.

Scotland becomes even more weird

SCOTLAND has somehow managed to become even more unusual.

SNP developing its own flag and salute

THE Scottish National Party is to develop its own flag and a special salute for party members.

Petition to stop demolition of Glasgow hits 30

A PETITION to stop Glasgow being razed to the ground has reached 30 signatures and is hoping to hit 50 by the weekend.

Turin Shroud back on display with added Nike swoosh

THE Turin Shroud has been updated to reflect that Jesus would have worn mid-priced sportswear if he were alive today.

Hillary Clinton to use You Oughta Know as campaign song

US PRESIDENTIAL candidate Hilary Clinton is to use nineties Alanis Morrisette song You Oughta Know as her campaign anthem.