International

But Putin has such an honest face, says everyone

VLADIMIR Putin has such kind eyes that it is impossible to imagine him doing anything shady, according to the public.

Middle class family already planning trip to Palmyra

A MIDDLE CLASS family has booked a trip to Palmyra in Syria to see the historical site before the crowds.

Hostages sort of assumed selfie man was planning to overpower hijacker

HOSTAGES aboard the hijacked EgyptAir plane assumed 'selfie man' was planning a heroic act, it has emerged.

ISIS issues tired, idiotic cliches

ISIS has tried and failed to issue a scary-sounding statement.

Bellend community accused of sheltering Trump

DONALD Trump remains at large because fellow bellends refuse to disclose his whereabouts, it has been claimed.

Trump’s running mate to be Wesley Snipes in 'Demolition Man'

DONALD Trump has chosen a character from the 1993 film Demolition Man to be his vice presidential running mate.

Snakes celebrate being driven out of Ireland

SNAKES across the world are celebrating the day St Patrick drove them out of Ireland to live in lovely hot countries.

Scotland secretly in love with England

THE people of Scotland have admitted to the secret love they have for the English.