Trump unites shocked world in contempt for him

PEOPLE of different races, creeds and sexual orientations all think Donald Trump is a f**ker, it has emerged.

Slightly insane woman to compete with completely insane man

THE next president of America will be either partially or completely insane, it has been confirmed.

This long tunnel proves we are sexy, say Swiss

BUILDING the longest tunnel in the world proves that Switzerland is a sexy and desirable nation, says the country’s president.

Non-conformist nutter is pro-EU

A CONSPIRACY theorist, UFO nut and street-ranter has surprised everyone by being a fervent supporter of the In campaign.

Furious expats to vote through their adult children

EXPATRIATES who cannot participate in the EU referendum have vowed to give their children detailed instructions on how to vote.

Fascism crushed by 0.6 percent

AUSTRIAN voters have rejected fascism by a landslide margin of over half a percent.

Scottish Labour beaten into ninth place by Human Sacrifice Party

THE Labour Party in Scotland has finished ninth behind a party promising more human sacrifices.

Trump finding increasingly stupid ways to tell people how clever he is

DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.