International

President of United States wildly applauded for getting through whole speech without massive f**k up

THE President of the United States has managed to get through an entire speech without saying anything explicitly dangerous or obviously insane. 

Trump hiding from media 'like he owes them rent money'

DONALD Trump is currently hiding from the media as if he owes them two months’ rent money, it has been confirmed.

Trump is on glue, confirms White House

THE White House has confirmed that President Donald Trump is on glue.

Trump's top adviser is little kid who talks bollocks

DONALD Trump’s closest adviser is a small boy who is the biggest bullshitter in his school, it has emerged.

Piss-eyed Tango monster demands everyone say nice things about it

A DESPERATE, blithering fuck-up has demanded the media accurately report how unbelievably fantastic it is.

People looking for leader of West choosing between Trudeau and Merkel but definitely not May

PEOPLE looking for a new leader of the western world are eyeing up Justin Trudeau and Angela Merkel and dismissing Theresa May without a second thought.

‘Who is Richard Nixon?’ asks Trump

DONALD Trump has been asking his aides who Richard Nixon is and why he is famous.

General Flynn says tearful ‘do svidanya’ to White House comrades

FIRED Trump adviser General Michael Flynn has put on his fur hat, taken a final shot of vodka and wished his White House comrades do svidanya.