International

Brexit talks to go ahead without us

MONDAY’S talks with the EU will go ahead without British involvement because what could be more Brexit, the government has confirmed.

F**k off, you're not invited anymore, UK tells Trump

BRITAIN has withdrawn Donald Trump's invitation to visit and never really wanted him to come in the first place.

Scotland to have second referendum anyway 'because it’s full of awkward bastards'

SCOTLAND will probably have another independence referendum because of its high percentage of difficult bastards, it has emerged.

Brexit to take 250 years

BRITAIN’s exit from the European Union is now on course to be completed by the middle of the 23rd Century.

Trump uses safeword to end this sick game

DONALD Trump has used his safeword 'covfefe' to end the humiliating fetish game where he pretended to be the worst president ever.

Trump understanding as much of G7 summit as a dog would

DONALD Trump is sitting uncomprehending through the G7 summit looking up eagerly whenever he hears his own name, aides have confirmed.

Vatican 'like a two-star motel', Trump tells Pope

DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.

Trump converts to Islam

DONALD Trump has confirmed that he is a now a Muslim.