100 Nations Agree To Kill People Differently

ONE hundred nations last night signed a treaty agreeing to kill people without using cluster bombs.

Israel And Palestine Sign Peace Deal To Prevent Clinton Visit

ISRAEL and Palestine last night signed a hastily arranged peace deal in a desperate bid to prevent a visit from Hillary Clinton.

Not Just Indians Dead

THE number of people killed as a result of Indian terrorism who are not Indians rose dramatically last night.

End Of US Power Will Not Affect Its Television Programmes, Say Experts

THE waning of America's influence on the global stage should not affect its ability to produce high quality drama and clever sitcoms, experts said last night.

Nothing To Fear From German Economic Collapse, Say Experts

THE world has nothing to fear from the collapse of the German economy, experts insisted last night. 

Monk Fight!

TOURISTS in Jerusalem were last night treated to one of the Holy Land's most exciting monk fights in more than 20 years.

America Buys All That Change Bullshit

BARACK Obama swept to victory last night as millions of Americans lapped up all that bullshit about change.

Ross And Brand Are Heroes, Say Spanish

THE Madrid government last night sprang to the defence of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross hailing them as the new heroes of anti-Spanish racism.