International

Come back when he shags a dead pig, says jaded Britain

SEX claims against Donald Trump are ‘lightweight’ and do not even involve a farm animal, according to Britons.

Trump replaces son-in-law with son

PRESIDENT-ELECT Trump has placated critics by replacing son-in-law Jared Kushner as senior adviser with his 10-year-old son, Barron Trump.

Vegas trip now compulsory for tossers

A WEEK in Vegas has become a rite of passage for tosser blokes, it has emerged.

Farage to sing 'Happy Birthday, Mr President' at Trump inauguration

NIGEL Farage will wear a white dress and heels to serenade Donald Trump at his presidential inauguration, it has been confirmed.

EU ‘sending fog to airports’

FOGGY airports are the EU’s latest plan to hinder Brexit, it has been claimed.

May pulls cracker with herself at EU Christmas party

THE prime minister endured the public humiliation of having to pull a Christmas cracker with herself at the EU’s Christmas party in Brussels.

Russia ‘hacking Crufts for years’

RUSSIA has been hacking the Crufts computers to make all the weird-looking dogs win, it has emerged.

Trump launches ‘Trumpbook’

DONALD Trump has launched a social networking site just for him and his insane followers.