International

We’re still very nasty, says Al-Qaeda

AL-QAEDA chiefs admit they have slipped well below ISIS in the world’s evil league table.

Countries whose names don't work with '-exit' barred from leaving EU

BRITAIN has been cleared to leave the EU because Brexit is perfectly usable while other countries have been permanently barred.

Cameron excluded from cool G7 clique

THE most popular and good-looking leaders have formed a clique at the G7 summit without David Cameron.

Greece postpones financial collapse of Europe until end of month

GREECE has told the IMF to enjoy the sunshine for another 25 days until the end of everything.

Blair to turn anti-extremist group into pragmatic, extremist-friendly brand

TONY Blair has pledged to transform an anti-extremist organisation into ‘a brand that extremists can trust’.

Clegg bans Putin from Sheffield Hallam

FORMER deputy prime minister Nick Clegg has warned Vladimir Putin not to enter Sheffield Hallam.

European leaders not allowing Cameron to use toilet

NONE of the European leaders visited on David Cameron’s whistle-stop tour of Europe are letting him use the toilet.

Bin Laden was 9/11 conspiracy theorist

OSAMA bin Laden was convinced that the CIA were responsible for the 9/11 attacks despite planning them himself, it has emerged.