International

Pope insists foot kissing 'not gay'

THERE is nothing gay about gently washing another man's feet and then giving them a kiss, the Pope has confirmed.

Jedi church split on ewok-wookiee marriage

LEADING Jedis are divided on marriage between different alien species, it has emerged.

Independent Scottish army 'would be nothing like Braveheart'

IF an independent Scottish army is not going to be like Braveheart then there is no point in doing it, everyone has agreed.

Vatican sticks with Nazi theme

THE Vatican has maintained its recent trend of choosing Popes who were adjacent to fascism.

Top 10 Pope facts

The Daily Mash presents a cut-out-and-keep guide to Francis, the first Jesuit  Pope who also happens to be Argentinean.