Sarah Palin Doesn't Know What Radar Is
SARAH Palin could still stand for the US presidency in 2012 after it emerged she has no idea what radar is.
Despite telling Oprah Winfrey that running for the White House was 'not on her radar', sources said the comment was meaningless as the former Alaskan governor believes 'radar' is her hand-held video game console.
One Palin aide said: "Sarah heard the phrase while watching an episode of Crime Scene: Navy Crime and thought it sounded really interesting. Unfortunately she then failed to ask anyone what it meant – that's never a good sign.
"As with so many other things she then decided she would apply her own definition and so 'radar' became her Nintendo DS.
"So when she says 'running for the presidency is not on her radar right now' all that means is she's not currently playing a game on her Nintendo DS called Sarah Palin is Running for the Presidency.
"She is, however, currently playing the brain-training game that then tells you what your 'brain age' is. Yesterday's result was 'three year-old chihuahua'."
The source added: "The lesson from this is always disregard anything she says that includes references to science or technology.
"She thinks 'x-ray' is a brand of sunglasses and that refrigerators are powered by ice cream and cheese – mainly because those things are always in the refrigerator every time she looks, so she thinks they're the batteries or something.
"If we showed her an actual radar she would probably just stare at it for hours and hours and then shoot it."
During a grammatically terrifying interview Palin said her heroes were 'Roland Reagan' and 'Mr God' in what experts described as an unwitting appeal to America's religious cretins that will probably work like a charm.
Tom Logan, professor of politics at Reading University, said: "Don't make the mistake of trying to convince yourself that Americans aren't stupid enough to do this, because they are, and you know they are."