Saudi king having sympathetic pregnancy

29-09-11

KING Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is mirroring the symptoms of one of his pregnant wives.

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For the last three weeks the king has complained of weight gain, altered hormone levels, morning sickness and cravings.

Sources close to the Saudi royal family say Abdullah likes to dip his fish fingers in Nutella and frequently bursts into tears while watching Antiques Roadshow.

It is understood he also has very hard nipples.

The sympathetic pregnancy, known as Couvade Syndrome, has led to a series of key policy changes culminating in the King stopping the public lashing of a woman driver while shouting ‘that ain’t no way to treat a sister’.

Julian Cook, professor of Arab billionaires at Roehampton University, said: “While Couvade Syndrome is common among pathetically sentimental western men, it’s the first time it has been detected in one of the really big Saudis.

“I suspect we will continue to see a softening in the regime’s attitude towards women while the king is in his second phantom trimester. But once his 47th wife gives birth it will be back to business as usual and she will be returned to her luxury cage.”

A Saudi government spokesman said: “His Majesty remains the mighty ruler of the Kingdom of Saud. His iron fist dispenses justice and mercy and he provides a glorious river of prosperity for his loyal subjects. Nevertheless there is a lot of stuff he can’t really deal with right now and it would nice if you could at least try and understand that.”

The claims have been substantiated by a leaked US State Department memo which revealed that during a recent phone call with Hillary Clinton, King Abdullah asked her what a period feels like.

 

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