Sex With Obama 'Better Than Sex', Claims First Lady
SEXUAL intercourse with President Barack Obama is better than sex, his wife has revealed.
First Lady Michelle Obama told the US edition of Vogue that since her husband's inauguration the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House 'has played host to some preternaturally euphoric bouts of coitus'.
Mrs Obama said: "Tumbling with the President is like dipping your genitals in liquid golden ecstasy. I can only liken it to what the Virgin Mary must have felt when she made love to the Archangel Gabriel.
"Sex with him is better than sex. People think that's impossible, but I remind them of the philosophical question, 'Can God create a boulder heavier than He can lift?' The answer is 'yes' – if by 'God' you mean 'Barack Obama' and by 'a boulder heavier than He can lift' you mean 'an orgasm more powerful than an unforeseen Asian tsunami'.
She added: "It's a metaphor."
A White House spokesman said: "I can't personally vouch for his carnal prowess, as yet, but he's certainly doing something right. The First Lady's been waddling around the West Wing like an 80 year-old cowboy with rickets."
In London, Sarah Brown gave the prime minister a 'four-and-a-half out of 10' revealing that since the start of the recession their lovemaking had been reminiscent of 'a damp sock flapping around inside an empty tuna can'.
Mrs Obama added: "When people ask me whether or not the President and his wife can really be redefining the sexual act by elevating it to something more akin to art, my answer is simple. Yes we can.
"But you can't, because you're probably married to some greasy oaf who thinks foreplay is a golf game for the Nintendo Wii."