the dailymash

The Middle Eastern rogue state will employ 300 sinister looking Asiatics at a nuclear facility in the Deir ez-Zor Governorate on a diabolical plan to wipe Israel from the face of the earth.

Meanwhile, 100 specially trained Syrians will travel to North Korea to train its population to look even more terrifyingly insane on television than they do already.

Bashar al-Assad, the president of Syria, said: "We explored a number of strategic options but only North Korea offered the vertical synergies necessary to make the numbers stack up.

"The Koreans impressed us with their bottom-up approach and evil lust for blood, while offering us a client-focused and holistic solution to all our terror needs which was premier league."

Kim Jong-il, Heavenly Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, said: "This merger of two of the strongest names in world terror will create a results driven, customer facing force for evil without the need for major downsizing.

"While we are the global number one at looking stony faced and menacing, they are world leaders in goggle-eyed public insanity and firing guns into the air."

Bill McKay, a terror analyst at Institute for Studies, said: "Jesus H Christ. Get me a spade, three tonnes of ready-made concrete and 6000 cans of baked beans."