TUTANKHAMUN 'BANJOED BY FRYING PAN', SAY EXPERTS

KING Tutankhamun died after being spanked very hard in the face with a heavy frying pan, a leading Egyptologist has claimed.

Scientists will attempt to reconstruct the weight and speed of the deadly pan

As the face of the boy king was revealed to the world for the first time in three thousand years, experts agreed that the 18th Dynasty pharaoh had clearly been the victim of a pan-wielding assassin.

"Tutankhamun was famed for his long, sensitive nose," said Professor Jean-Claude de Poele, of the University of Luxor.

"Before he would grant an audience to a visiting dignitary he would sniff them very thoroughly. Sometimes for over an hour.

"But look at it now. Someone must have absolutely fucking whacked him with a frying pan."

Dr Abdul Al-Maktar, head of pots at the Cairo Institute, said the spanking seemed to have been caused by a flat, heavy iron pan with a long handle.

"The ancient Egyptians called it a faktiti and used it for cooking eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes, sausages and black pudding. And bacon. Lots and lots of bacon."

He added: "Look how hard they hit him. They must have taken a run-up."

There is evidence contained within ancient hieroglyphs of a plot to kill the young pharoah with a kitchen implement.

A papyrus dating from around 1320 BC, discovered near Abu Simbel, reads: "The Living Image of Amun has betrayed his destiny and inflicted poor harvests upon Thebes.

"I think I might banjo the big-nosed bastard with the wife's faktiti."