The Daily Mash - US AND POLAND SIGN DEATH TO POLAND AGREEMENT

US AND POLAND SIGN DEATH TO POLAND AGREEMENT

21-08-08

THE US and Poland yesterday signed an historic agreement which will guarantee the total destruction of the eastern European state.

One last look at Poland

Under the deal the US will build a nuclear missile base on Poland's border with Russia and in return the Poles will get the first season of Grey's Anatomy and the poor seventh season of Will & Grace.

Poland will come to the aid of the US should it be attacked by Russia, while the US has promised Poland a special commemorative edition of USA Today.

US secretary of state Condoleezza Rice said: "This historic agreement opens up a new and final chapter in the long history of Russia's psychotic aggression towards the Poles.

"Over the centuries Russia has brutally attacked its tiny neighbour on hundreds of occasions without the slightest provocation; well not any more."

She added: "Brave Poland, we salute you. We take comfort in your strong Christian faith and know that one day we will all dance together in heaven."

General Radek Kilich, Polish chief of staff, said: "I have better idea. Why not just get whole country to stand at border wearing 'Putin is c*nt' t-shirt? That should do trick.

"Still, at least now US back us up, just like they do for brave Georgia. I start dig large hole. Buy beans."

Meanwhile Janice Harper, a housewife from East Sussex, said: "My god what will happen once they've killed all the Poles? I'll have to get some dirty cockney to flush my pipes."

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