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| CARAVAN CLUB CELEBRATES ONE MILLIONTH TRAFFIC JAM |
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THE Caravan Club yesterday celebrated causing its one millionth traffic jam of this year’s holiday season, beating its own previous record by a full two weeks.  The Jackers. What a pair of bastards. The Jackers said they were “surprised and amazed” to have caused such a memorable jam when they were stopped and told of their achievement by jubilant Caravan Club officials just outside Tyndrum. Mrs Jackers said: “We were totally shocked to learn about the huge traffic jam on the A82, the roads around here just seemed so quiet and peaceful to us as we pottered along, we hardly saw any cars at all. “We thought that it must have had something to do with the value of the pound keeping all the foreign tourists away. “Instead it turns out that it was just us and our little holiday home on wheels causing a minor inconvenience to a handful of our fellow motorists.” The Caravan Club was set up 100 years ago this week with the express aim of creating misery and delays on the roads of Britain. Robert Preston, 43, a photo-copier salesmen from Clydebank who was four hours late for an appointment in Oban thanks to the Jackers, said: “Kill them, kill them all.” |
| MY BIG GAP YEAR |
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Despatches from Poppy Spalding Monday: Sydney, Australia My first week on the road finds me in Sydney, which is a bit like London, only with more sun and fewer Australians. |
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