The Daily Mash - CHURCH ACCEPTS GAY ADOPTION AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT FLAMING

CHURCH ACCEPTS GAY ADOPTION AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT FLAMING

15-03-07

LEADERS of the Roman Catholic and Anglican churches have agreed an historic deal with the government over adoption by gay couples .

Prisoner: Cell Block H - ghastly

Under the compromise church adoption agencies would accept same-sex partners as long as they seem normal and, in the words of one bishop, "aren't mincing around like a couple of chorus tarts from 42nd Street".

Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor said: "God, in his infinite grace, has delivered a solution whereby adoption rights would be granted to those homosexual couples who do not flounce around like nancy-boys but instead give the outward appearance of normal, well-balanced men who enjoy Top Gear.

"Put it this way: For those of you familiar with the US sitcom Will & Grace, we would accept a couple like Will and Vince, his policeman boyfriend, but not Jack and one of his Puerto Rican boy-toys.

"The issue of female gayness has proved more difficult but ultimately we have decided to accept those who resemble the pert, fragrant, lipstick lesbians of The L-Word or Tipping the Velvet and not those awful, chunky, crew-cut dykes that were 10-a-penny in Prisoner: Cell Block H."