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THE number of clown schools in Britain is set to rise dramatically after the Government announced a huge boost in funding for filling childrens' heads with shit.
 Ed Balls is a Christian
However, parents will be banned from driving their children to the schools in gas guzzling motors and will be expected to peddle them to their lessons in tiny cars which turn to the right when steered to the left.
Ed Balls, the schools secretary, said: "I have a picture at home of Jesus cuddling a baby dinosaur and I cried when I read there was no room for the lovely creatures on Noah's Ark. "I believe in dragons and I have seen the devil. Come on kids, let's juggle!" Bobo, headmaster of Reg Vardy's Clown Academy, welcomed the move saying it would end centuries of discrimination against clowns, who are the only group in Britain not currently getting huge amount of taxpayers money to peddle any old made up rubbish and fairy stories to children.
But the development was immediately attacked by existing faith schools of all dominations. Imran McKay, of McKay's Madrassa in Dundee, said: "Religious educationalists don't want just anyone to be allowed to come in off the street, set up a school and fill up young kids' heads with mumbo jumbo, shit and nonsense: that's our job, and we take it very seriously."
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