News

People on low carb diets terrified of post-Brexit courgetti shortage

THE government has been urged to secure post-Brexit supplies of courgetti by people who think it is in any way a substitute for pasta.

Shithole flat cleverly disguised by string lights

A CRAP flat now looks delightful due to some clever string light placement, it has been confirmed.

Vow to not give toddler iPad lasts 78 seconds

TWO idealistic parents have reneged on their pledge to raise their child without screens after 78 seconds of spirited resistance.

OJ Simpson to run for president

OJ SIMPSON, released from prison yesterday, has announced his intention to run for President of the United States.

Daddy uses all the best words when he’s driving, kids agree

TWO children have agreed that they pick up all the most useful phrases when Daddy is driving them to school.

Queen poleaxes disgraceful Canadian with elbow to the chin

THE Queen has responded to a breach of etiquette by Canada’s Governor General by smashing her elbow into his chin.

We may have too much money, admit couple doing up wet room again

A COUPLE have admitted they may have too much spare cash after deciding to refurbish their shower room for the third time in 10 years.

Facebook told to piss off with this 'Friendversary' thing 


FACEBOOK needs to stop telling people how long they have been friends on Facebook, because no-one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.