News

Live space broadcast drives millions insane

VIEWERS of Channel 4's Live From Space have lost their minds after experiencing the incomprehensible vastness of the universe.

Johansson film is thought-provoking, haunting and has breasts in it

UNDER the Skin is an elegiac masterpiece where you see Scarlett Johansson in the nuddy, according to critics.

Supermarkets recruiting shoppers for actual war

BRITAIN’S ‘big four’ supermarkets are asking shoppers to join them in a massive, deadly war.

Aliens keep putting off Earth visit

EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS have as little enthusiasm for coming to Earth as we do for visiting elderly relatives, it has been claimed.

The Sun declares Britain safe as 88 year-old peace campaigner dies

BRITAIN is finally safe from the perils of Tony Benn, the Sun has declared.

All London properties to become timeshares

EVERY residential property and office in London is to become a work-residential timeshare.

Success mainly down to having a loud voice

HIGH earners are more likely to be good at shouting, it has emerged.

All bosses are absolutely amazing, say experts

ANYONE who runs a large business or organisation is obviously incredible, experts have confirmed.