News

Heatwave sees huge rise in whingeing gits

THE heatwave currently hitting Britain has led to a huge rise in people moaning about it.

Trident ‘only effective against Labour party’

TRIDENT is useless apart from making the Labour party look like pacifist weirdoes, one of Britain’s top generals has warned.

Britain almost starting to feel pity for Kelvin McKenzie

BRITAIN is almost at the stage where it could imagine feeling pity instead of visceral loathing for Kelvin McKenzie.

Most ‘banter’ actually just people talking shit

THE vast majority of the UK’s ‘banter’ fails to meet basic levels of pithiness, experts have revealed.

May to purge Britain of people who steal toilet paper from work 


THERESA May has launched a brutal crackdown on people who steal toilet rolls from their employers.

Jesus was the original Pokemon, claims Church of England

THE Church of England is attempting to attract younger people with a new version of the Bible which includes Pokemon.

Lion King still brilliant

EVERYONE has remembered how good The Lion King is.

Working classes now eating Viennetta 


WORKING class families are now eating Vienetta for dessert, it has been revealed.