Woman leaves house with unmoisturised face

A WOMAN has ventured outside without moisturising her face, it has been confirmed.

Letting agents 'as highly trained as brain surgeons'

LETTING agents charge a lot because it takes years of training to master printing out a contract, it has been claimed.

Momentum Kids to get own Saturday morning TV show

LABOUR'S Momentum Kids are to get a TV show about their anti-capitalist adventures.

May wins over US with ‘pathetic grovelling’ strategy

THERESA May has persuaded US business leaders not to ignore the UK by begging pathetically.

Knobheads object to bullshit

SOME knobheads have strongly objected to some bullshit, it has emerged.

Pippa Middleton reveals plan to infiltrate and then destroy upper classes

PIPPA Middleton has confirmed plans to destroy the aristocracy from within.

Man thinks he is ‘holding court’

A MAN believes he has captivated the room with a tedious story about how great he is.

Drinkers demand cure for arsehole alcohol personality

DRINKERS have demanded a cure for the weird and aggressive personality that seems to take over when they are extremely pissed.