A CHRISTMAS tree fairy would rather not have a needle-covered branch right up her skirt, it has emerged.
ARE train drivers right to strike, or are they just in a mood?
A FATHER Christmas in Preston has informed children that they are getting ‘sod all’ because they have been ‘bad little buggers’.
THE theme of the Queen's Christmas message is how much mental shit has happened lately, it has been revealed.
THE next Stars Wars film will show Darth Vader struggling to get planning permission for the Death Star.
A MAN will not stop telling people about his plans to do un-Christmassy things over Christmas.
PARENTS feel they must prove their concern for their children’s futures by talking about it endlessly, it has emerged.
SOUTHERN Rail victims have had a more efficient journey to work than normal by just walking along the tracks.