A CAT has announced plans to continue sitting in the front window of a house, watching over everything like Stalin in communist Russia.
AUSTRIAN voters have rejected fascism by a landslide margin of over half a percent.
A FLAT in London is affordable due to being visible only with a microscope, it has emerged.
LEGO characters are arming themselves in preparation for wiping all Playmobil figures from the face of the earth.
TWO single people having lunch together are unsure if they are on some sort of date.
DIET experts are exploring a new theory that an inbuilt sense called ‘hunger’ may somehow indicate how much food we should consume.
A MAN has kicked a football with sufficient accuracy back to a group of lads in the park, giving him his happiest moment since 2012.
A WOMAN who received 188 Facebook likes for a picture of her new haircut knows that most of them were out of sympathy, it has emerged.