Six-year-old collecting some f**king thing

A SIX-YEAR-OLD boy is collecting Moshi Monsters or football stickers or some other thing no adult wants to know about.

North ‘must do better as a hemisphere’

NORTHERN hemisphere patriots are undergoing a bout of soul-searching following their half of the planet’s poor rugby performance.

Teenager determined to explain the plot of 'Mr Robot'

A 13-YEAR-OLD boy is telling everyone he encounters about TV series Mr Robot.

Amazing qualities projected onto awful girlfriend

A MAN has met finally met the woman of his dreams by imagining she is much nicer than she is.

Cameron waiting until weekend to condemn Putin

THE prime minister has decided that condemning Vladimir Putin for entertaining an anti-democratic despot can wait a few days.

Beyonce 'older than current universe'

BEYONCE is more than 14 billion years old and survived the heat-death and collapse of a previous universe, it has emerged.

China to build British nuclear plants that can be detonated remotely

CHINA has agreed to build nuclear power stations in Britain that can be detonated from Beijing.

Cat will eat rat but not cheaper catfood

A CAT has refused to eat a slightly cheaper brand of catfood, despite having recently eaten a rat.