News

Dalai Lama can't wait to pay £12 for Glastonbury cheeseburger

THE Dalai Lama is looking forward to his weekend at the anti-capitalist Glastonbury Festival where organic burgers are just £12.

Dursleys hated Harry Potter because he was a jumped-up little sod

THE Dursley family despised Harry Potter because he was a snotty brat who reckoned he was God's gift to magic, it has emerged.

Bus drivers secretly hate their job

BUS drivers have admitted that, despite their cheerful, happy-go-lucky demeanours, they do not actually enjoy their work.

Family’s excitement at getting on ferry rapidly fades

BEING on a ferry is f**king boring, a strike-hit British family has discovered.

Boss believes he’s not a prick outside of work

A MANAGER is under the impression that outside of work he somehow stops being a prick.

Dukes of Hazzard admit KKK membership

MOST characters in The Dukes of Hazzard were members of the Ku Klux Klan, Bo and Luke Duke have revealed.

Susanna Reid has large doner for breakfast

GOOD Morning Britain presenter Susanna Reid has a doner kebab at 7am every morning, it has been confirmed. 

DJ has been mediocre long enough to become a ‘house music legend’

A HOUSE music DJ and producer has been granted legendary status after not being very good for over twenty years.