PC TOM Logan is determined to keep busting people for having tiny amounts of cannabis because he is a tosser.
A GROUP of 20 European teenagers with backpacks is currently being given a guided tour of your home.
YOUR grandfather has phoned up to get help deleting his profile from hacked sex contacts site Ashley Madison.
NEIGHBOURS of a man in Stevenage have confirmed that Roy Hobbs has completed 10 years of hammering the absolute shit out of something in his house.
SUMMER has decided to end suddenly for artistic reasons, it has confirmed.
EVIL children have thanked Pixar’s Inside Out for putting the blame on cartoon characters.
MILLIONS of older men have been nodding vigorously at the Lord Sewel sex and drugs scandal.
SEAGULLS have cemented their position as humanity’s arch-enemy by opening a lettings agency specialising in ‘luxury studio flats’.
- Middle class advantages outweighed by having to live among middle class people
- 9/11 White House photos show Cheney looking guilty as hell
- Camping trip only planned to heighten appreciation of house
- Street oregano being cut with other herbs
- Middle-class drinkers slur something about 'being able to handle it'