News

Spammer’s heart just not in it anymore

AN idealistic young spammer has become increasingly disillusioned with his profession.

School overrated

GOING to school is largely a waste of time, according to experts.

Cumberbatch to play Alan Hansen

BENEDICT Cumberbatch has been confirmed to play football pundit Alan Hansen in a forthcoming biopic.

Hawks ‘worst pet craze ever’

THOUSANDS of Britons have been maimed after buying hawks on a whim, it has emerged.

Eastenders to become first horror soap

THE new horror-themed trailer for EastEnders marks a permanent change of direction for the show, the BBC has announced.

Trains set free to roam as they please

RAIL bosses have given up trying to control their trains and have set them free to roam wild.

Stranger gave mum £10 to piss off

MOTHER of three Nikki Hollis was given £10 by a stranger to leave her local pub and take her kids with her.

Middle class socialists concerned about Tsipras’s modest lifestyle

COMFORTABLY-OFF socialists in the UK have expressed concern that Alexis Tsipras appears to live without lots of nice things.