News

Britain hoping ‘spornosexual’ just goes away

BRITAIN is studiously ignoring the term ‘spornosexual’ in the hope that it won’t become a real thing.

Bank allowed to put little hats on mortgages

THE Bank of England has been given special powers to put fancy hats on the top of huge home loans that will destroy the economy.

Pitt and Jolie tell Hague they'd already booked a table for two

ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt were last night forced to tell William Hague they planned to spend the evening alone.

World’s Second Greatest Dad mugs this year’s big seller

CHILDREN are celebrating Father’s Day with gifts that admit their dads are deeply flawed people who are trying their best.

Action film starring 71 year-old man hits snag

THE producers of the new Star Wars film admit they have no idea how long it takes a 71 year-old man to recover from a broken ankle.

Cameron consigns unemployment to the X-Files

DAVID Cameron has tasked investigators to look into increased sightings of unemployed people.

Atari ET game to be made into film

THE 1982 Atari video game ET: The Extra-Terrestrial is to be made into a live-action film.

Amazon no longer selling anything

INTERNET giant Amazon is no longer selling any products following disputes with every publisher, film producer, record label and mop manufacturer in the world.