EATING large amounts of fried and processed red meat sorts you out, it has been confirmed.
A 42-YEAR-OLD man thinks he had something to do with Britain’s historical military victories.
PRESIDENT-ELECT Donald Trump has confirmed plans to deport 318 million non-Native American immigrants.
THE wisdom and insight that comes with a hangover is to be taught as part of philosophy courses.
BRITAIN is to get hammered as usual tonight but for bad reasons, not celebratory, end-of-the-week ones.
A BIFFY Clyro gig in Glasgow is expected to be the first entirely attended by online ticket-buying bots.
NIGEL Farage will be Donald Trump’s high powered ‘go-between’ whenever the new president wants to eat some pizza.
THE music of Leonard Cohen is perfect for fans feeling desolate and melancholic about his death, they have confirmed.
- Clinical, joyless humans have already finished their Christmas shopping
- Trump voter listens carefully to call for national unity then sets up Aryan website
- Toddlers become spherical for winter
- It is possible, says woman who survived four-year relationship with twat
- Man uses Trump victory as excuse to call ex-girlfriend