News

Britain's mind blown by sunny-but-cold paradox

BRITONS are struggling to comprehend how it can be sunny but freezing f**king cold. 

Yorkshireman urged to find additional topic of conversation

FRIENDS of a man from Yorkshire have begged him to find at least one other subject to talk about, it has emerged.

Southern scientists discover some Northerners not working class

SCIENTISTS from the south east have been surprised to learn that not everyone in the North is working class.

Mum enjoys holiday in supermarket car park

A MUM who ‘popped out for milk’ is secretly enjoying a half-hour weekend mini-break in her car outside Tesco.

Men will never know joy of taking off bra at the end of a long day

MEN will never know the transcendent joy of removing a bra at the end of a very long day, woman have confirmed.

Man personally offended by friend’s small TV

A MAN is absolutely outraged at the pathetic size and technological backwardness of his friend’s television.

Ironic moustaches defeated by deadly serious moustaches

MEN are no longer growing Movember moustaches for charity because they all have entirely serious moustaches already.

Colleague with ‘Friday feeling’ advised everyone gets hammered on Thursdays now

AN office worker excited about her Friday bottle of wine has been tactfully informed that everyone else already got wrecked the day before.