News

Man with mortgage and kid unable to throw out rave tapes

38-YEAR-OLD Tom Booker has decided at keep his rave ‘tape packs’ despite being an adult with responsibilities.

Everyone in London doing medical testing

ALL Londoners are taking part in paid medical trials so that they can afford to continue living there, it has been confirmed.

New form of plastic surgery makes people look better

A REVOLUTIONARY new type of plastic surgery does not make people look worse than they did before.

Dawkins to turn his hand to vintage motorbikes

RICHARD Dawkins has ditched his atheism campaign in favour of restoring Norton motorbikes.

Humanity warned against reacting to Madonna kiss

ANYONE with an opinion about Madonna’s behaviour is playing into the hands of society’s evil puppet masters, it has been claimed.

Cats admit perverse love of heat

CAT are incredibly keen on high temperatures despite having thick pelts, it has emerged.

Woman gives birth to media wanker baby

A WOMAN has given birth to a baby obsessed with social media engagement and brand awareness.

DVLA launches Thinking About Buying A Car Tax

ANYONE considering getting a car now has to pay the DVLA from the moment it crosses their mind.