ENGLISH voters have demanded the right to sort out the French once and for all.
AMERICA'S new series of space missions will be manned by silverback gorillas.
SINGLETON Tom Booker has filled in his online dating profile with information about his professional skills and employment history.
PLANET Earth has confirmed that it really does not like Sting.
OFFICE joker Stephen Malley has admitted his seemingly spontaneous workplace quips are rigorously workshopped.
THE UK has been spared the prospect of a flag that looks like a tattoo on a cretin.
THE magical land of Brigadoon has melted into the Highland mist.
INTERNET debates can be won by simply inventing evidence, it has been confirmed.