News

Harry asked Sports Personality winners if they had any weed

PRINCE Harry asked every winner at the Sports Personality of the Year awards if they were holding marijuana.

Cereal cafe exactly the sort of irritating nonsense you wish you’d thought of

A CAFE specialising in cereal is the sort of maddening hipster idiocy you would be up to if they hadn’t come up with it first.

Birthdays cancelled for a month

ANYONE unlucky enough to have a birthday in the next month might as well not bother, research has shown.

Friends enthralled by gig filmed on phone

SMARTPHONE footage of a Jamie T gig has been acclaimed as superior to actually being there.

Corgis eat ‘heroic’ quantity of magic mushrooms

THE Queen’s corgis have been left permanently changed after consuming vast quantities of magic mushrooms.

Christmas jumpers make being fired such jolly fun

A JUNIOR accountant’s disciplinary proceedings were full of festive cheer because everyone involved was wearing a Christmas jumper.

Pint spillage forgiven in most grudging possible manner

A MAN has ostensibly forgiven the accidental spillage of his pint while maintaining a threat level close to maximum.

Asteroid headed straight for self-centred astronomer

AN egotistical scientist has claimed that a mountain-sized asteroid is headed right at him.