News

Thousands of Boris supporters don’t know his surname

ONLY 13 percent of people who support Boris Johnson are aware that his surname is Johnson.

Cafe customer plugs in laptop, kettle and toaster

A MAN in a cafe has plugged in his computer and various items of kitchen equipment, it has emerged.

Millions of women left unabused after Twitter outage

WOMEN across the world experienced a 50-minute gap in online abuse last night after Twitter was hit by technical problems.

Airport sniffer dog demands power to confiscate delicious meat products

A SNIFFER dog has demanded new powers to seize sausages, biscuits and other snack foods.

Tax scandal reminds man that it would be nice to have a job

THE offshore tax avoidance scandal has reminded a man that earning enough money to pay tax would be quite nice.

Man lying about living in London

A MAN is point-blank lying about being 'London based’.

Bono: Surely this is the stupidest shit I’ve ever said

BONO proudly believes his claim that comedians should be sent to fight ISIS to be his most dumbshit pronouncement yet.

UK breathes sigh of relief as Tesco back in profit

THE UK has properly relaxed for the first time in three years following news that Tesco has returned to profit.