THE BBC has told the Conservative Party to get over that time they dated back in 1996.
THE married friends of a recently divorced man are trying very hard to sound like they feel sorry for him, it has emerged.
A MAN has become the first person to complete Facebook after defeating 'end boss' Mark Zuckerberg, it has emerged.
A FAN of The Stone Roses has lied to himself and friends by saying how much he loves the band’s new single All For One.
PARENTS of children under six have warned the government that if it lays a finger on CBeebies they will burn Westminster down.
FRIENDS of 28-year-old Julian Cook fear they have lost him forever after he embraced aspirational bullshit.
A BIRD is sceptical that a flimsy construction of twigs and mud is suitable to live in, he has admitted.
A RECEPTIONIST at a leading City firm has been sent home without pay for refusing to wear a jewelled leather codpiece.
- Man permanently scarred by four-star review of Radiohead album
- Woman ditches ‘summer body’ in favour of things that are not bollocks
- Breakfast actually third most important meal of the day
- Corsodyl advert shows woman being murdered by her own teeth
- Can you put all this in an email for me? asks manager who doesn't know what else to say