‘Ignored’ voter to become ‘absolutely shafted’ voter

A TRUMP supporter has voted to make the government stop ignoring him and completely screw him over instead.

Weed legalised in America because they f**king need it

MARIJUANA is now legal in 28 states of the US to help them through every difficult day of the next four years.

Of course, when you think about it, it was inevitable, says some smart-arsed twat

THE election of Donald Trump was inevitable and obvious, according to some smug, smart-arsed twat.

I was actually born in Kenya, says Obama

BARACK Obama has admitted he was born in Kenya and 'you can all go fuck yourselves'.

Trump bored now

DONALD Trump is bored of politics and wants to do something else now.

Trump swept to victory by fans of poor quality 80s action films

MEN who love the films of Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are responsible for Trump’s election victory, it has emerged.

America really, really, really not ready for woman president

THE USA was so unready to have a woman as president that it would vote for literally anyone else instead, it has been confirmed.

Trump smiles, waves and starts rounding up enemies

A SMILING president-elect Donald Trump has instructed aides to ‘get them’.