News

Middle class parents leaving public school prospectuses lying around

PARENTS unable to afford school fees have been reduced to leaving public school prospectuses in highly visible areas of their homes.

‘Totally legal’ things always morally wrong

ANYTHING described as ‘totally legal’ is always the wrong thing to do, it has emerged.

Pinch and punch to be rigidly enforced

OFFICIALS will enforce 'pinch, punch, first of the month' tomorrow, it has been confirmed.

Playing Xbox on YouTube now leading UK industry

THE British economy is now completely dependent on 19-year-olds playing and narrating computer games.

Britain demands weirder-looking dogs

DOG enthusiasts have called for stranger and more physically dysfunctional breeds.

EU popular when humiliating America

PUBLIC support for the European Union peaks when it is lording it over the USA, it has emerged.

Britons only attracted to themselves

INCREASINGLY narcissistic Britons only want to have sex with themselves, it has emerged.

Women who don't like sex looking for new heartthrob

WOMEN with no interest in copulation are bereft following the marriage of their dream man George Clooney.