News

All people thrown out of nightclubs were treated unfairly

EVERYONE who has ever been thrown out of a nightclub has confirmed it was not their fault.

Boar, what are they good for? ask officials

BOAR are good for absolutely nothing, according to councillors in the Forest of Dean.

Men's and women's brains equally empty

HUMAN brains are inefficient sacks of jelly regardless of gender, according to new research.

Bored humans running to the point of exhaustion

MILLIONS are running until their legs give out just for something to do.

Exquisitely groomed dog still likes to eat its own vomit sometimes

CRUFTS winner Ricky the poodle has said he just likes to do normal disgusting dog stuff.

Having a fight 'best way to burn off calories'

BRAWLING is the most effective way to shed excess weight, according to doctors.

Bitcoin founder not a real wizard

THE creator of Bitcoin has been revealed as a mere mortal who cannot dispense hearts, brains or courage.

Adult birthdays to be ignored

GROWN-UPS should stop expecting to be treated as if they are special once a year, it has been claimed.