THE UK has told the Queen it will celebrate her 90th birthday if she gives everyone a day off work.
THE title of the film Batman v Superman makes absolutely no sense to most people, it has been confirmed.
ISIS has tried and failed to issue a scary-sounding statement.
SPECIAL schools without pupils are being set up for troublemaker parents who just want to shout at teachers, the government has announced.
THE Easter Bunny has expressed shock and disgust that he's just some weird metaphor for sex.
DONALD Trump remains at large because fellow bellends refuse to disclose his whereabouts, it has been claimed.
THE BBC has been left red-faced after the ending to The Night Manager was revealed by a woman who has read the bestselling novel it is based on.
BRITAIN’S girlfriends are demanding that their partners get more spots and then allow them to squeeze them.