A WOMAN is always available to listen to her friends’ problems and give them spectacularly shit advice.
A CAT has not seen his penis for three weeks, it has emerged.
A RETIRED couple spent three days on a coach because that is their twisted idea of fun.
THE computers in your local library are so old they were used by ancient Sumerian tribes some 4000 years ago.
A TATTOO claiming ‘Only God Can Judge Me’, has been proved wrong by a county court judge.
A CHAIN of pubs called The Brexiteer has opened for people who are jubilant about leaving the EU.
BRITAIN now belongs to a Peruvian drug lord after an ‘accident’ by Boris Johnson.
MUM Mary Fisher has admitted that her short visit to Games Workshop this weekend was the most baffling experience of her life.
- Friend with spare gig ticket wants full price for it
- Brexit to be huge success 'because Britain is good at the pommel horse'
- Radio 4 listeners shocked to hear racism exists
- Night Tube to make passengers feel like they're in a low budget independent film
- Hedgerows taste better than kale, say people who eat a lot of kale