News

London friend wants to know if you're free in 10 weeks' time

A FRIEND from London has asked you to let her know by this afternoon if you are free for a drink in April.

Sexy posh girls unveil bullshit fad diet

TWO hot, incredibly annoying posh girls have unveiled the latest bullshit fad diet.

Trump starts day by idly crossing countries off world map

DONALD Trump has started his day by idly crossing off countries on a map of the world.

Man decides not to wish someone 'happy birthday' on Facebook

A MAN on Facebook has decided to not wish happy birthday to someone he only kind of knows.

US flag changed to orange, purple and white to match Trump’s face

THE stars-and-stripes is switching colour scheme to orange, purple and white to match President Trump’s facial colouring.

Trump confirms this is going to be completely f**king insane

DONALD Trump has confirmed that the next four years are going to be as fucked up as his campaign.

Police taser race relations leader for suggesting they stop tasering black people

POLICE in Bristol have tasered the founder of their own race relations group after he suggested they treat black people with respect.

Final section of pre-apocalypse montage filmed at 5pm today

THE final footage for a grainy, event-packed pre-apocalypse montage will be filmed at the Capitol in Washington DC at 5pm today.