News

Middle class socialists concerned about Tsipras’s modest lifestyle

COMFORTABLY-OFF socialists in the UK have expressed concern that Alexis Tsipras appears to live without lots of nice things.

Achievements to be restricted to over 30s

PEOPLE under 30 are to be banned from achieving any kind of success.

Strange clingy people welcome room sharing

THE trend for sharing a rented room with a complete stranger has been welcomed by people who have no friends due to their weird personalities.

McCartney irritating whole new generation

PAUL McCartney has become the first artist to irritate three generations of music fans after appearing on Rihanna's new single.

London sponsored by cocaine

LONDON is now officially sponsored by its cocaine dealers.

Greeks vote to stop having shit kicked out of them

GREEK voters have defied expectation by choosing not to be beaten like cringing dogs for the next five years.

Funky CV makes applicant stand out as tiresome little shit

HAVING an innovative multimedia CV makes you stand out from the pack as a particularly tedious person, according to employers.

Adrian Chiles becoming a badger

ADRIAN Chiles has been dropped from ITV's football coverage after admitting he is undergoing a series of operations to become a badger.