News

Friend always there with shit advice

A WOMAN is always available to listen to her friends’ problems and give them spectacularly shit advice.

Cat desperately searching for penis

A CAT has not seen his penis for three weeks, it has emerged.

Retired couple go on coach journey for fun

A RETIRED couple spent three days on a coach because that is their twisted idea of fun.

Library computers ‘also used by ancient Sumerians’

THE computers in your local library are so old they were used by ancient Sumerian tribes some 4000 years ago.

Man’s ‘Only God can judge me’ tattoo proved wrong by magistrates' court judge

A TATTOO claiming ‘Only God Can Judge Me’, has been proved wrong by a county court judge.

‘The Brexiteer’ pub chain launched

A CHAIN of pubs called The Brexiteer has opened for people who are jubilant about leaving the EU.

Boris Johnson ‘may have accidentally sold Britain to Peruvian drug lord’

BRITAIN now belongs to a Peruvian drug lord after an ‘accident’ by Boris Johnson.

Mum’s five minutes in Games Workshop the most baffling experience of her life

MUM Mary Fisher has admitted that her short visit to Games Workshop this weekend was the most baffling experience of her life.