MUSIC fans say high prices at Reading are making it impossible to shower acts in urine.
NON-RESIDENTS of Notting Hill are looking forward to this year’s chance to destroy the affluent London borough with impunity.
A 21 year-old woman has managed to link every event of the last week to her backpacking trip to Thailand.
THE omnipotent John Lewis has descended from the heavens to stop customers taking the piss with free cakes.
RICHARD Dawkins has taken to walking down the street saying horrible, unprovoked things to total strangers.
THE father of Coldplay’s Chris Martin keeps asking when he’s going to bring his new girlfriend home.
THE middle class shoppers who switched to budget supermarkets have wondered if they can switch back soon.
AGGRESSIVE swans like those terrorising tourists on the river Cam are to replace Britain’s nuclear arsenal.