News

Parenting 'a doddle', confirms aunt who has been babysitting for half an hour

CHILDREN are a lot easier to look after than everyone makes out, according to an aunt who has completed a trouble-free 30 minutes.

Davis tells room full of people who can speak German that they'd all be speaking German if it wasn't for us


DAVID Davis has told a room full of people who can speak German that if it was not for Britain they would all be speaking German.

Middle class ‘Day of Rage’ focused on poor quality of supermarket tomatoes

MIDDLE class people have spent a ‘Day of Rage’ protesting about IKEA, supermarket tomatoes and the quality of their workplace coffee.

Royal family’s benefits withdrawn

THE Royal family has had its benefits sanctioned after Prince Harry admitted none of them wants the top job.

Business bullshit ‘vital’ for people who are bad at everything else

POMPOUS business bullshit is vital for maintaining the self-esteem of people who are crap at everything else, research has found.

Man wakes up on sofa with bag of sweetcorn on head

A MAN has awoken on his sofa with the front and back doors propped open and a formerly frozen bag of sweetcorn on his head.

Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse revealed as 'Stupidity'

WAR, Famine, Pestilence and Death have a fifth companion known as Stupidity, experts have discovered.

England assumed everyone in Scotland was working class

ENGLAND has been surprised to learn that not everyone in Scotland is a foul-mouthed manual worker on the minimum wage.