Neither casual friend going to break first and add the other on Facebook

A PAIR of friendly acquaintances are locked in stalemate over adding each other on Facebook, it has emerged.

Daily Express reader surprised no one else has thought of nuking Scotland

LAUNCHING Trident missiles at Scotland is the most sensible way to end the row over independence, according to a Daily Express reader.

Dyson invents poncey new wheel

JAMES Dyson has reinvented the wheel to make it incredibly expensive with lots of unnecessary features.

80s Neighbours fan regularly watched same episode twice in a day

A MAN would regularly watch the same Neighbours episode twice in a day during the 1980s, he has revealed.

Man finally gets My Bloody Valentine

A 41-year-old man has announced he finally gets bands like My Bloody Valentine and Ride.

Night out in Wales is best way to prepare for the apocalypse

A TYPICAL night out in a Welsh town is the best way to prepare yourself for Armageddon, it has been confirmed.

Membership of doomsday cults up 8,000 percent

DOOMSDAY cults have seen a huge rise in new memberships over the last six months, it has emerged.

Middle class man too scared to pronounce 'croissant' in public

A MIDDLE class man is too scared to ask for a croissant in a crowded café in case other middle class people make fun of his pronunciation.