Annoying principled friend wants you to sign yet another petition

A TIRESOME friend wants you to take two seconds to help yet another persecuted group of people and or animals.

Hard drive manufacturer sends you Valentine's email

THE manufacturer of your backup hard drive has sent you a special love-themed offer for Valentine's Day.

General Flynn says tearful ‘do svidanya’ to White House comrades

FIRED Trump adviser General Michael Flynn has put on his fur hat, taken a final shot of vodka and wished his White House comrades do svidanya. 

'Going up the Shard' probably a euphemism

A COUPLE planning to 'go up the Shard' later are probably talking about a sex thing, it has been claimed.

Middle classes using yoghurt as a condiment

MIDDLE class people are using yoghurt as a type of sauce, it has emerged.

Moron predictably has plan for tougher prisons

A MAN has had the unoriginal idea of making life in prison harsher in ways that would undoubtedly just cause more problems.

Man accidentally gives girlfriend Easter egg

A MAN has given his girlfriend an Easter egg after getting his dates mixed up.

Nobody actually wants to go out

EVERYONE who plans to go out is secretly hoping that their friends all drop out, it has been revealed.