News

Money environmentalists defend tax havens

CASHOLOGISTS have argued that tax havens offer the last unspoiled refuge for untamed profits.

Shit thick internet users puzzled by not particularly hard maths question

INTERNET users have been confused by a maths question from a children’s exam because they are as thick as shit.

Dad who was miserable failure with girls forced to give relationship advice

A FATHER who was unable to attract women in his youth is having to advise his son about relationships, it has emerged.

Bank of Mum and Dad 'f**kers just like the rest of them'

THE Bank of Mum and Dad is run by total bastards just like all banks, it has emerged.

Britons confirm link between celebrating and going to hospital

WHEN British people celebrate things they usually end up in hospital, it has been confirmed.

Rock climbers enjoyed excellent weekend of gruelling misery

BRITAIN’S rock climbers had a satisfying weekend of fear and physical discomfort, they have announced.

Vegan just happens to mention it in every other sentence

A VEGAN casually mentions her dietary preferences in roughly 50 per cent of the things she says, it has emerged.

Animals see Attenborough shows as moronic reality TV

WILDLIFE species have criticised David Attenborough as a maker of mind-numbing reality television obsessed with chimp family disputes.