News

Apple designer Jony Ive admits he can only draw oblongs

APPLE design guru Sir Jonathan Ive has admitted his iconic designs are based on his inability to draw anything except oblongs.

Things that live in the sea found off British coast

BRITAIN’S coastal waters are being invaded by sea-dwelling creatures.

Carveries recognised as a religion

'GOING to the carvery' is now the UK’s biggest belief system.

Commitment-phobic gay man privately dismayed by Irish referendum

A GAY Irish man who can now legally wed his partner is desperate not to.

Watching Eurovision ironically is still watching Eurovision, say experts

THE British public have been warned that watching the Eurovision Song Contest to sneer at it is no better than watching it genuinely, like a Belgian.

Adult colouring book doesn’t even contain naked breasts

BUYERS of adult colouring books have discovered they are devoid of any erotic content.

Professor bets he can turn SNP MP into a gentleman

A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.

Bin Laden was 9/11 conspiracy theorist

OSAMA bin Laden was convinced that the CIA were responsible for the 9/11 attacks despite planning them himself, it has emerged.