Living Wage renamed Still Properly Skint Wage

THE Living Wage is to be renamed to reflect a world where broadband coats £38 a month and fags are a tenner.

Ordinary man strangely not allowed to stop paying tax

A MAN has received absolutely no help from the government with his plan to stop paying tax.

Stars of Mrs Brown’s Boys hoarding as much money as possible before their audience sobers up

THE stars of Mrs Brown’s Boys are accumulating as much money as possible before their audience sobers up and realises the show is an abomination.

Mother unveils breakthrough discovery about 33-year-old daughter's face

A MOTHER has announced the discovery of age-related imperfections on her 33-year-old daughter’s face.

How’s about you at least pay for doing up your own house? Britain asks Queen

BRITAIN has suggested that if the Queen wants to avoid tax she could at least do up her own house with her own money.

Huge destructive reptile wreaking havoc in Japan

THERE have been reports of a giant lizard with destructive tendencies wreaking havoc in Tokyo.

Friend sends urgent 3.30am text about maybe having a midweek pint

A MAN has been woken in the middle of the night by a friend’s urgent text about maybe having a pint.

Nobody getting harassed in Games Workshop

WOMAN are very safe in Games Workshop, it has been confirmed.