News

20 percent of all children are Mick Jagger's

MICK Jagger is responsible for 20 percent of all human births, say researchers.

Stupid and evil people live longest, happiest lives

THE secret to living a long, happy life is to be nasty, unintelligent or a combination of the two, research has found.

Daily Mail publishes names of all 3,363 Sleaford Labour voters

THE Daily Mail has published the names of all 3,363 Sleaford Labour voters as part of its ongoing catalogue of enemies of the people.

Saudi king assumes May got permission from husband before 'slapping down' Boris Johnson

SAUDI Arabia has welcomed Theresa May’s decision to criticise Boris Johnson on the basis that she must have cleared it with her husband.

Plan to take E at office party rapidly backfires

A MAN has instantly regretted taking an Ecstasy pill at his work Christmas party, it has emerged.

Netflix launches ‘People Standing in a Row with Arms Folded’

STREAMING service Netflix has launched a new drama about some people who do a job.

Article 50 to be name of experimental punk band in the year 2076

ARTICLE 50 is set to be the name of some weird experimental band in the year 2076, long after anyone remembers what it meant.

Brexiters confident obscure local grievances will be in government plan

BREXITERS believe the weird local grievances that made them vote Leave will be addressed in the government’s plans.