FEMALE body hair is a massive turn-off for virgins, shallow narcissists and picky twats, it has emerged.
THE next season of Game of Thrones will see the death of some of the programme's biggest fans.
STUPID, privately educated people are being sidelined from low wage jobs, it has emerged.
THE Magna Carta is shit compared to the latest photos of Prince George, it has been agreed.
JURASSIC World’s portrayal of the Ankylosaurus, has been criticised by a dreary man.
THE comet lander 'Philae' lost contact with Earth because it was too busy looking at lady comet landers.
POP music has finished and will now be run backwards, with acid house due to return in 2042 and the Beatles reforming in 2060.
THE Queen’s new open-topped Range Rover has a machine gun on the rear at her personal request.