MEDIEVAL-STYLE surnames that describe a person’s job or characteristics are to be brought back, the government has announced.
TATTOO artists have been told to go back to using foreign languages by observers horrified by the trite sentiments of modern tattoos.
THE yoghurt industry must start making antibiotic yoghurts or everyone will die, experts have claimed.
SOME friends in their mid-thirties have made a vague, doomed plan to have a drink.
FLORIDA’S dolphin-pimping businesses are enjoying a record-breaking summer.
A CHUPA Chups lolly has defeated all attempts to remove its plastic wrapping.
THE prime minister has hosted a drinks party honouring the economic contribution made by the country's twats.
HEROIN addict Tom Logan has reached a walking speed of 18 miles per hour while going to score.