THE refugee camp in Calais has already become luxury apartments that only footballers and bankers can afford.
BUDGERIGARS imprisoned by weirdos around the UK have issued a statement pleading to be set free.
SHOPPERS at Asda are generally very angry people, it has emerged.
A MAN who bumped into an old university friend has discovered that he is now a total dickhead.
A MIDDLE class family is celebrating Halloween in a way that is respectful to witches and does not involve sweets.
A TEACHER unsure if he can manage an eighth straight night of drinking acknowledged that half-term gives him little choice.
A SMARTLY-DRESSED man at a posh dinner party may well be Tim Farron, fellow guests have realised.
GREAT British Bake Off fans will be able to judge the Victoria sponges of strangers under new support schemes.
- British pride restored by grovelling to Japanese car company
- Endangered animals ‘guilty of poor financial planning’
- Man decides first 10 minutes of new Adam Curtis film should be enough to bluff it
- Homeless man looking a bit down today for some reason
- Staying up all night playing computer games not insomnia, teenagers told