News

X Factor 'clearly still brimming with fresh ideas'

THE rise of Honey G has proved yet again that X Factor is a great show with lots of fresh and innovative ideas, viewers have agreed.

Man accidentally says 'she'd get it' while watching TV with his mum 


A MAN accidentally said 'she'd get it' while watching a television advert with his mother, it has been confirmed.

Woman already making space under stairs for bullshit healthy lifestyle gadget

A WOMAN who asked for a smoothie-maker for Christmas has found the perfect place for it to be stored and forgotten about.

Pissed off Christmas trees refusing to leave loft in protest at 2016

BRITISH Christmas trees have said they cannot face being in living rooms after such a hellish year.

Newly arrived Spanish waiter pleased with by-election result

A SPANISH waiter, newly arrived in the UK, has said the Richmond Park by-election result has given him a sense of hope and relief.

Owning a National Lottery account worse than having it hacked

YOUR life is already in serious trouble if you have a National Lottery account regardless of whether it gets hacked, experts believe.

Cafe puts on Fairport Convention to drive out hipsters

A CAFE has started playing Fairport Convention to encourage trendy young professionals to go away.

Oh shit, Trump taking this seriously

DONALD Trump’s announcement that he will leave his businesses for the presidency has left humanity terrified he is taking the job seriously.