THE DAILY Mail has assured its female readers that it will make them pregnant if they are still childless by 35.
GREECE is not a real place and its debts were just a dream all along, it has been agreed.
NEW Top Gear presenter Chris Evans is trying to decide which of his sycophantic pals will join him as co-presenters.
DURAN Duran have described their horror at realising they forgot to disband 20 years ago.
STONEHENGE is sick of being linked with hippies and wants to rebrand itself as a destination for cool people.
A BRITISH teenager has changed his mind about joining ISIS after reading an opinion piece by Richard Littlejohn.
A WOMAN believes that adding random ingredients to food makes it better and more exotic.
A NEW 'intelligent' missile is unwilling to contemplate non-missile career options, it has emerged.