Woman quietly swaps 'Veganuary' for enormous amount of cheddar

A WOMAN who would not shut up about going vegan for a month has gorged herself on cheddar like an animal.

Bastard neighbour builds much better snowman

A FATHER is feeling inadequate after his bastard next-door neighbour built a far superior snowman.

Sky reluctantly pulls broadcast of utterly f**ked up idea conceived by a madman

SKY TV has pulled the broadcast of its Michael Jackson comedy drama, after realising the whole thing was completely insane from start to finish.

Bus driver wrongly thanked for bus journey

A BUS driver has been wrongly thanked at the end of a bus journey, it has emerged.

Rock band splits because of musical similarities 

A ROCK band have split because they have the same crap tastes and sound like all the other shit that is out there.

Trump threatens Iran and promotes Budweiser in single tweet

DONALD Trump has used his Twitter account to threaten a nuclear first strike on Iran and to promote the rich, smooth taste of Bud Ice.

Everyone moaning about snow whether they’ve had any or not

HEAVY snow or hardly any snow are both a great excuses for a massive whine, the UK population has confirmed.

Future generations to wonder why ancestors built Stonehenge A303 tunnel

FUTURE generations will walk around the Stonehenge A303 road tunnel wondering why it was constructed, it has been confirmed.