News

Column of light is beacon for alien invaders

THE London art installation commemorating the First World War is being used as a beacon by an approaching alien armada.

Humanity marks WW1 anniversary with wars

MANKIND has commemorated World War One with armed conflicts around the planet.

People know the most dickheads aged 29

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that your circle of dickheads is biggest in your late twenties.

Art looks like a bum, say children

ALL art looks like a pair of buttocks, according to children.

Even shit jobs depend on cronyism

JOBSEEKERS need family connections just to get work sweeping up fish entrails, it has emerged.

Convertible drivers sick of it now

OWNERS of open-top cars are secretly aware that the novelty has worn off.

BMW 4 x 4 openly marketed to pricks

BMW'S jeep-type thing is being openly advertised as a vehicle for pricks.

Mark E Smith named as X Factor judge

THE Fall frontman Mark E Smith is to replace Nicole Scherzinger in the next series of The X Factor.