News

Avoid trains, says Network Rail

THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.

Urban foxes making annoyingly specific food demands

HOUSEHOLDERS have been warned against feeding urban foxes as the animals are fussy and claim to have intolerances.

Gay cake converted entire tray of bread rolls to homosexuality

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.

Work experience student surprised to be made Trident launch button supervisor

15-YEAR-OLD Stephen Malley was asked to sit at the Trident missile controls and not press anything, it has emerged.

Dogshit bins are homeworkers' watercoolers

HOMEWORKERS in need of office-style conversation about TV and sport are meeting by dog waste bins.

Mad Max totally improvised

DIRECTOR George Miller has revealed that Mad Max: Fury Road was entirely ad-libbed by the cast.

Pornography garden wins gold at Chelsea Flower Show

A GARDEN with hedges and borders containing more than 16 tonnes of hand-shredded pornography has won a gold medal at Chelsea Flower Show.

Hipsters secretly plotting to ruin darts

HIPSTER entrepreneurs are planning to re-brand darts as ‘flechette’, leaked emails have revealed.