A WOMAN who would not shut up about going vegan for a month has gorged herself on cheddar like an animal.
A FATHER is feeling inadequate after his bastard next-door neighbour built a far superior snowman.
SKY TV has pulled the broadcast of its Michael Jackson comedy drama, after realising the whole thing was completely insane from start to finish.
A BUS driver has been wrongly thanked at the end of a bus journey, it has emerged.
A ROCK band have split because they have the same crap tastes and sound like all the other shit that is out there.
DONALD Trump has used his Twitter account to threaten a nuclear first strike on Iran and to promote the rich, smooth taste of Bud Ice.
HEAVY snow or hardly any snow are both a great excuses for a massive whine, the UK population has confirmed.
FUTURE generations will walk around the Stonehenge A303 road tunnel wondering why it was constructed, it has been confirmed.
- Woman opposed to anything that makes world a better place
- Plumber making men feel inadequate for not knowing plumbing
- Trump eases world's nerves with rambling and demented speech
- Lobster can't believe he ended up in bloody Lidl
- It should never have been written or released, says Trump about Shane Richie's autobiography