THE world is on the cusp of peak exhaustion after hitting peaks in every possible field.
17-YEAR-OLD driver Tom Logan is demanding petrol money from friends that is disproportionate to his actual fuel costs.
THE new self-driving cars pioneered by Google just go straight to Wikipedia, according to testers.
EUROVISION winner Conchita has advised Nigel Farage to make the most of his fleeting moment of glory.
APPLE has paid £156m for the start-up that hacks into iPhones and demands a fee to unlock them.
ECONOMIST Thomas Piketty's Capital is on course to become the most unread book of the early 21st Century.
THE Chancellor of the Exchequer's cat has been charged with soliciting after being found in a red light district.
JORDAN is sad now because she got married to a man but he is a bad man.