MEN have confirmed plans to continue going to B&Q on Saturdays, even if it is just to claw at the locked gates.
BRITAIN’s cities are to be levelled and replaced with fancy flats for privileged idiots with rich parents.
ANYONE perpetrating April Fools' Day pranks can be legally murdered before midday, experts have confirmed.
BRITAIN needs to get a bloody grip and stop crying every time it watches a film, experts have claimed.
MIMING the hand movements of DJing has finally overtaken air guitar solos.
THE very existence of a new £150k Range Rover is enough to make you want to kill yourself, it has been claimed.
A MAN has been deceived into thinking he is a professional chef by food websites and celebrity cookbooks.
MOST of the food at Piers Morgan’s 50th birthday party remained uneaten, it has been confirmed.