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Geese criticised for walking like Nazis

GEESE have been heavily criticised after footage emerged of them walking like Nazis.

Child’s birthday party is big ‘f**k you’ to other mums

A DELIGHTFUL birthday party enjoyed by a child and his friends totally pissed on all the other kids’ shitty parties, a mother believes.

Last bit of sausage forced to watch as rest of breakfast eaten before him

THE last bit of a sausage has been forced to watch his fellow breakfast ingredients being devoured in front of him.

Getting ready to go out much more fun than going out

GETTING ready for a night out is infinitely more fun than going out, scientists have confirmed.

Dan Brown: Why my incredible secrets must never be shared with the metropolitan elite

I choose to publish these amazing secrets in mass-market thrillers with gold letters on the cover for one reason: to ensure that they never fall into the hands of anyone but the functionally literate.

Racist grandpa branches out into sexism

A RACIST grandfather has added casual misogyny to his repertoire, family members have confirmed.

Right-wing fury as Peace Prize goes to campaign to stop everyone being killed

RIGHT-wingers are furious after an organisation that wants to prevent cataclysmic violent death was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Liam Gallagher’s brilliant career marred by his albums

EX-OASIS vocalist Liam Gallagher has sadly spoiled the great joy he brings to the world by insisting on making a record.