News

Scaremongering about Ukrainian immigrants to begin on Wednesday

UKRAINIAN stereotypes are to be launched this week, say leading xenophobes.

Piers Morgan to interview volleyballs in his shed

PIERS Morgan will continue his glittering career by sitting in his shed, interviewing volleyballs with faces painted on them

Human intelligence to fall below level of household appliances

AVERAGE human intelligence will soon be surpassed by that of a toasted sandwich maker, experts have claimed.

We hate your music, say children

PRE-TEENS have confirmed they detest their father's music, especially The Pixies.

Bunch of flooding experts acting like smart arses

A BUNCH of ‘flooding experts’ have come up with a lot of fancy solutions three weeks too late.

Praise for casserole enters third exhausting day

A CARLISLE woman has reiterated how lovely her boyfriend's beef stew was for the third day running.

'Abandoned' child probably just a set-up for annoying YouTube thing

A DISTRESSED child in a park is probably just pretending for some YouTube clip about whether people are compassionate.

Wales begs Scotland to stay

WALES has begged Scotland not to leave it trapped in the UK with those two other mad bastards.