News

Gentrifier couple show terrified middle class parents around their new area

A YOUNG couple have given their frightened relatives a tour of the deprived but ‘up and coming’ area where they have bought a flat.

Highlighting every word of textbook still most effective form of revision

EXPERTS have confirmed that taking a highlighter to 150 straight pages of a textbook is guaranteed to make you pass your exams.

Worker enters seventh year of anger

AN OFFICE worker has been furious with his colleagues, clients and all office equipment for seven years straight, it has emerged.

Brexiters flock to see ‘Weeping Di’ memorial plate

‘OUT’ voters are flocking to see a Princess Diana plate that weeps real tears, it has emerged.

Woman treats weather app like some kind of tribal god that cannot be questioned

A WOMAN reads out the predictions of her weather app like a shaman receiving messages from an ancient god, it has emerged.

UK witchcraft up 700 per cent

WITCHCRAFT has increased by around 700 per cent across Britain in the last 12 months.

Man leaves speaker by open window to let everyone know how bad his taste in music is

A MAN has left his speaker by an open window in the hope that people will hear how awful his taste in music is and recommend something good.

Northern family has no-nonsense day out

A FAMILY from Bolton has gone on a blunt, plain-speaking and principled day out at a theme park.