CHEESE which is weaker than ‘medium’ is an abomination, experts have confirmed.
SHORT men have confirmed plans to spend the day contemplating their small stature.
A COACH packed with British children has arrived in Calais, where they are being right little bastards.
A 35 year-old man has declared that music is dead, for what he reckons is probably the ninth time.
THE new season of The Walking Dead involves a moment of hope followed by yet another gruelling journey, it has been revealed.
Britain ‘mystified’ more seven-year-old children haven’t made unaccompanied 2,300 mile journey from Syria
MILLIONS of Britons are surprised at how few seven-year-old refugees have journeyed alone across the whole of Europe.
SHOTS do not count as a round of drinks, expert drinkers have agreed.
THE SUN has confirmed that if the Queen dares breathe one compassionate word about immigrants she is fucking gone.
- Seagull stands on top of bin and proclaims himself king
- Pub forced to serve 15-year-old because age recognition software says he’s 44
- Radiohead booked for Glastonbury’s ironic Sunday afternoon slot
- Sad, desperate man thinks woman’s body language is flirtatious
- Patchy Skype call becomes blame game over who has shittest internet