News

People without kids dreading Easter Holidays even more than parents

PEOPLE who prefer to avoid children are concerned that they will be absolutely everywhere next week.

Woman to boycott Pepsi until first moment it's inconvenient

A WOMAN offended at Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi advert has sworn to boycott the drink until the moment it becomes inconvenient.

Cat self-conscious about hairy ears

A CAT'S confidence is being undermined by protruding ear hair, it has emerged.

Listening device found in tapas

A LISTENING device has been discovered hidden inside a prawn at a Spanish restaurant.

Why are all our TV programmes so f**king trippy? ask children

CHILDREN have demanded to know why television programmes aimed at them are all incredibly weird.

Sir Tim Berners-Lee apologises for inventing the internet

THE inventor of the internet has apologised because it is such a load of bollocks.

Man thinks bullshit business course is genuinely educational

A WORKER studying for a pointless management qualification thinks it is genuinely educational, he has revealed.

Fresh air harmful to Londoners

LONDONERS are against pollution cuts because clean air hurts their poison-adapted lungs, it has emerged.