ONE day of unexpected hot weather has transformed Southern Britons into languid continental-style sensualists.
THE government is keeping cannabis illegal to send a message that you can pick and choose which laws to obey, it has confirmed.
A PAIR of middle class grandparents have confirmed that names like 'granny' and 'grandad' are too boring for people as unique and special as them.
A THING that is both black pudding and haggis has escaped from a high security butcher’s shop.
A MAN who supports grammar schools and other forms of competition in life is unaware he would fail spectacularly under those arrangements.
A MAN who claims to love traditional British values cannot explain what they are in any detail.
A MOTHER-OF-TWO incorrectly believes she was a really fun and exciting person before having children.
HILLARY Clinton’s illness and Donald Trump’s improving poll ratings have led to a global upsurge in thinking happy thoughts about lovely things.