News

Peak peak reached

THE world is on the cusp of peak exhaustion after hitting peaks in every possible field.

Teenage car owner demanding grossly inflated petrol money

17-YEAR-OLD driver Tom Logan is demanding petrol money from friends that is disproportionate to his actual fuel costs.

Google cars only go to Wikipedia

THE new self-driving cars pioneered by Google just go straight to Wikipedia, according to testers.

Enjoy it while you can, Conchita warns Farage

EUROVISION winner Conchita has advised Nigel Farage to make the most of his fleeting moment of glory.

iPhone ransom hackers bought by Apple

APPLE has paid £156m for the start-up that hacks into iPhones and demands a fee to unlock them.

Thomas Piketty's Capital hailed as an unread classic

ECONOMIST Thomas Piketty's Capital is on course to become the most unread book of the early 21st Century.

Osborne's cat is a cat whore

THE Chancellor of the Exchequer's cat has been charged with soliciting after being found in a red light district.

Jordan very sad

JORDAN is sad now because she got married to a man but he is a bad man.