News

NHS gone

BRITAIN has woken up to find the National Health Service replaced by signs promising that an exciting new health provider is coming soon.

Letters from badger king call Charles ‘father’

LETTERS from the King of the Badgers to the prime minister refer to Prince Charles as 'daddy'. 

Pub with two extra beers apparently having a festival

A LOCAL pub is apparently staging a beer festival by bringing in two additional ales.

Men’s Health magazine finally puts a gorilla on the cover

MUSCLE-BASED periodical Men’s Health has unveiled its first ever cover gorilla.

Embarrassing email address amnesty declared

PEOPLE who chose ridiculous email addresses before the internet properly caught on will be allowed to anonymously exchange them.

Scotland putting listening devices in shortbread

THE new Cold War with Scotland has intensified with the discovery of radio transmitters in shortbread.

Our jobs are not even slightly dignified, Britain points out

THE prime minister’s promise to give everyone "the dignity of a job" has confused Britons whose jobs are a humiliating parade of shame.

Married couple flirting on Twitter

A MARRIED couple are sending each other flirtatious tweets, horrified onlookers have confirmed.