News

‘Who is Richard Nixon?’ asks Trump

DONALD Trump has been asking his aides who Richard Nixon is and why he is famous.

Passenger requesting refund taking the absolute piss, says train company

A TRAIN operator cannot believe the fucking nerve of a passenger who is demanding a refund because his train was 90 minutes late.

What, in the name of god, is a 'pay rise'? asks Britain

A REPORT that claims wages have risen faster than inflation has baffled the majority of Britons who have no idea what a pay rise is.

Piers Morgan 'to go undercover at Hogwarts'

PIERS Morgan plans to use his 'skills as a journalist' to discover the truth about a controversial school he claims was founded by JK Rowling.

Hipster coffee shop worker fired for playing Lighthouse Family

A BARISTA at a fashionable urban cafe has been sacked for playing The Lighthouse Family.

Adults who read books for kids excited again

ADULTS who only read books for children are thrilled at the announcement of a new trilogy by His Dark Materials author Philip Pullman.

Couple who 'don’t have to talk all the time' clearly going to split up

A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.

Being a bellend 'is key to Tinder success'

A POPULAR Tinder user has shared advice on being a predictable bellend who just says things other people want to hear.