Bristol declares crackdown on cannabis non-users

PEOPLE in Bristol who do not smoke cannabis face fines and possible imprisonment, it has emerged.

Secret to getting rich ‘is to just keep it a secret’

THE secret to becoming immensely wealthy is to not tell anyone about it, according to a new book.

Give back everything you bought with foreign aid, say tight bastards

COUNTRIES must give back anything they bought with foreign aid from the UK, mean-spirited Britons have demanded.

Man receives award for alcohol-free weekend

A 38 YEAR-old man has been hailed a hero after spending an entire weekend without alcohol.

But Putin has such an honest face, says everyone

VLADIMIR Putin has such kind eyes that it is impossible to imagine him doing anything shady, according to the public.

Man uses mindfulness to accept he is a twat

A MAN has confirmed that mindfulness has helped him calmly acknowledge and accept his own twattishness.

If there was one 'weird trick' to weight loss we would tell you, confirm doctors

DOCTORS have clarified that if there was ‘one weird trick’ to weight loss they would not hate it and would definitely tell you.

Woman admits she's not on a voyage of personal discovery

A 33 YEAR-OLD woman has admitted she has not learned anything new about herself for at least seven years.