THE prime minister’s promise to give everyone "the dignity of a job" has confused Britons whose jobs are a humiliating parade of shame.
A MARRIED couple are sending each other flirtatious tweets, horrified onlookers have confirmed.
INEXPLICABLY popular assault course event Tough Mudder has introduced a new obstacle that involves having a conversation about non mud-based things.
THE UK’s ball pits must be accessible to drunk adults, according to new legal guidelines.
A HOMELESS man has returned a coffee that was given to him by someone exploiting Waitrose’s free drinks offer.
THE last of the renegade Nazis living in a self-sufficient lunar colony has died, aged 95.
THE other foods in your fridge are all scared of the cheese, it has emerged.
A MUSIC festival has invited punters to do whatever they like except bring in their own alcohol.