News

Lost hour would have been incredible

BRITONS lost what would have been their greatest hour over the weekend.

Farage’s Purple Revolution intended as sequel to Color Purple

NIGEL Farage has revealed the original version of his new book was about African-American lesbians.

Nobody cares about second baby, Kate told

THE Duchess of Cambridge has been advised that interest in her forthcoming baby is hovering around zero.

Schoolkids rule the bus, confirm experts

RESEARCHERS have definitively proven that children aged 11-16 are in complete command of any bus they are on.

Savoy Hotel closes after bad TripAdvisor review

LONDON hotel The Savoy has closed its doors after more than 125 years following a one-star TripAdvisor review.

Liberal elite declares police state

THE UK government has been overthrown by a liberal elite junta headed by Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee.

Richard III’s tomb includes holograms and prog rock

THE tomb of Richard III includes interactive features, holograms and the music of Rick Wakeman.

Showing initiative ‘a waste of everyone’s time’

SHOWING initiative is a waste of time for the person who does it and those who have to live with the consequences.