News

Strike-hit workers competing over bullshit travel stories

BULLSHIT stories about epic commutes during strikes are spiralling out of control, it has emerged.

Sheep actually full of radical opinions

MANY sheep have extreme political views, it has emerged.

Hospitals not on fire yet, insists May

THERESA May has reminded everyone that the NHS has yet to burn to the ground.

Londoners wonder if this living hell is worth it to be slightly ahead on food trends

LONDONERS are considering whether living in a nightmarish urban dystopia is worth it just to enjoy food crazes two months early.

Utter dickhead wants to know why his relationships keep going wrong

A DICKHEAD does not understand why women keep dumping him.

Man spends ages in wine aisle in desperate bid to feel sophisticated

A MAN who wasted half an hour looking at wine eventually chose the bottle with the nicest label, he has confirmed.

Middle aged man takes to Facebook like a duck to the M25

A MIDDLE aged man has taken to Facebook like a duck trying to waddle across the M25 during rush hour.

I’m sick of being your f**king punchline, Michael Fish tells Britain

MICHAEL Fish is sick of being a byword for fucking up and you can all sod off, the infamous weatherman has declared.