Woman sure that drunkenly trimming her own fringe will end well

A WOMAN has made the drunken decision that she can trim her own fringe just as well as any fancy hairdresser.

Plastic-free aisle in supermarkets to become hook-up joint for sanctimonious twats

PLASTIC-free aisles in supermarkets are to be used like singles bars by committed environmentalists, it has emerged.

Taylor Swift fan’s mind blown after hearing real music

A TAYLOR Swift fan is recovering from having her mind blown after hearing real music for the first time.

Oh just f**k off, say women

WOMEN sick of being criticised for all of their life choices, have told everyone to go fuck themselves.

Job interviewer pretends neck-tattooed dickhead has a chance

A JOB interviewer was forced to pretend a candidate with a tattoo on his neck was just like any other candidate.

Guardian readers disgusted by their men-only pub night

A GROUP of male Guardian readers have been wracked with guilt after realising their evening in the pub was a sexist, men-only event.

Gap year teaches man lots of things everyone already knows

A 22-YEAR-OLD has returned from a gap year full of priceless first-hand knowledge that is only available to others via Wikipedia.

Man gives to charity without going to a f**king ball

SCIENTISTS were shocked to announce the discovery of a man who is capable of giving to charity without attending an exclusive black-tie gala event.