World leaders openly taking the piss out of Brexit

EVERYONE at the G20 summit finds Brexit hilarious, Theresa May has confirmed.

Drunk Scottish friend's text 'possibly paragraph from Irvine Welsh novel'

A SCOTSMAN has sent a drunken text to his friend that may or may not be a passage from an Irvine Welsh novel.

Woman wants children before all the good baby names are taken 

A WOMAN has revealed she wants to have children before her friends take all the good baby names.

Scratch cards considered dessert in Hull

SCRATCH cards are considered the perfect dessert after a nice meal in Hull, it has emerged.

Seasonal aisle in Asda takes moment to reflect on mortality

THE seasonal aisle in a supermarket is reflecting on the passing of summer into autumn and the inexorable march of time.

BBC closes loophole for whiny freeloaders

PEOPLE with an absurd sense of entitlement will no longer be able to watch BBC iPlayer for free, the broadcaster has confirmed.

Parents now counting down every millisecond until child returns to school

THE parents of an nine-year-old are spending the last weekend of the summer holidays watching a digital clock count down to 9am on Monday.

We might be forced to talk to patients, say terrified senior doctors

SENIOR doctors have condemned plans for strike action by junior colleagues because it may lead to them communicating directly with patients.