Put cancer in e-cigarettes, say non-smokers

NON-SMOKERS would prefer electronic cigarettes to be fatal, it has emerged.

Sinkholes are badgers’ revenge

THE sinkholes appearing across Britain are an act of revenge by the badgers.

Everybody Hitler

YOU and everyone you know is Adolf Hitler, it has been confirmed.

91% of TV adverts contain whistling

MOST television adverts have a whistling-based soundtrack or feature whistling characters, it has emerged.

Hedgehog announced as fashion animal for 2014

HEDGEHOGS are the fashion industry's latest animal muse.

Capitalist overlords behind budget cooking trend

BRITAIN'S capitalist overlords are secretly orchestrating the trend for nutritious low-cost recipes.

Reality to be rebooted

OUR shared reality is to be turned off and started again after becoming glitchy and confusing.

Mail sacks Dacre, hires de Botton

THE Daily Mail has sacked long-time editor Paul Dacre and replaced him with the philosopher Alain de Botton.