PRIMARY school teachers have confirmed plans to settle old scores by making the annoying ones be innkeepers.
VAGUE plans to discuss bosses’ pay prove the Tory government is on the side of ordinary people, idiots believe.
ERIC Bristow would go on a deadly darts rampage if he was threatened by abusers, he has announced.
THERESA May has thanked Kate Bush for her kind words but regrets she cannot return them because Bush’s music is ‘hippy crap’.
A SMOKER has stopped messing around with ‘e-cigarettes’ and gone back to the real thing.
BRITAIN is eagerly waiting for whatever the fuck it bought yesterday to arrive.
EUROPEAN Union officials are astonished that Britain's Brexit plan goes all the way to the bottom of an A4 page.
A 23-YEAR-OLD has finally become a man after having his first multi-day hangover.