News

Health campaigners may actually be insane

FANATICAL public health campaigners may be mentally ill, it has emerged.

Special Brew drinker's life temporarily better than yours

A HOMELESS man drinking high-strength lager in a park is going to enjoy today more than you.

Men consider emotional investment in things other than sport

MEN are considering whether to start having emotions about things that are not sport.

Government unveils confidence-boosting invasion of Andorra

THE government is planing to invade the tiny nation of Andorra to rebuild national pride.

The Archers set in Marvel Universe

CHARACTERS in radio soap The Archers have been revealed to inhabit the same reality as Spider-Man and the Human Torch.

Barbecue size is biggest cause of male anxiety

MEN are increasingly worried that their barbecue is smaller than average, it has emerged.

GCHQ using Twitter to ask if anyone’s planning any terrorism

THE UK’s intelligence agency is using Twitter to ask if anyone has any terrorist stuff going on this weekend.

People without passports interned in Britain

ANYONE without a valid passport is to be confined in a vast internment camp the size and shape of the United Kingdom.