BULLSHIT stories about epic commutes during strikes are spiralling out of control, it has emerged.
MANY sheep have extreme political views, it has emerged.
THERESA May has reminded everyone that the NHS has yet to burn to the ground.
LONDONERS are considering whether living in a nightmarish urban dystopia is worth it just to enjoy food crazes two months early.
A DICKHEAD does not understand why women keep dumping him.
A MAN who wasted half an hour looking at wine eventually chose the bottle with the nicest label, he has confirmed.
A MIDDLE aged man has taken to Facebook like a duck trying to waddle across the M25 during rush hour.
MICHAEL Fish is sick of being a byword for fucking up and you can all sod off, the infamous weatherman has declared.
- Most Britons working either seven or seventy hours a week
- Giving up alcohol, cigarettes and sugar simultaneously 'not a problem', experts insist
- Migrants 'should have to perform passable Morris dance'
- Leaving EU 'will give UK citizens powers of super-strength and invisibility'
- Farage to sing 'Happy Birthday, Mr President' at Trump inauguration