News

Boyfriend gets massage right by total accident

A MAN has given his girlfriend a satisfactory massage completely by chance.

Birmingham now 100 percent Klingon

BIRMINGHAM has become the UK’s first all-Klingon city.

Red carpet hits indistinguishable from red carpet misses

STARS whose dresses were judged failures at the Golden Globes looked exactly like stars who were successful, it has emerged.

Internet haunted by ghosts of Christmas shopping past

THE unquiet ghosts of Christmas internet browsing past are haunting Britain, popping up on every website they visit.

Britain hit by hellish new strain of Stars In Their Eyes

A FRESH mutation of the Stars In Their Eyes virus could wipe out millions of vulnerable people, the NHS has warned.

Couple use Google more than 38,000 times during single film

A VIEWING of Tudor drama The Other Boleyn Girl on Saturday evening generated 38,114 Google searches from a single IP address.

Army to weaponise different types of gayness

GAY recruits to the armed forces will be asked what kind of gay they are so it can be weaponised.

The Daily Mash guide to satire for jihadists

ARE you locked in a holy war against the West because you never get any of the jokes on Mock the Week? End that misery with our handy guide to understanding satire.