News

Big accountancy firm accused of saving people money

BRITAIN'S biggest accountancy firm has been accused of organising its clients’ finances and helping them reduce their tax bills.

Online personality quiz finds user to be gullible procrastinator

AN ONLINE personality test has proved 100 per cent accurate in predicting the woman completing it is self-obsessed and bored with her job.

ISIS handbook to be turned into Cosmo column

TIPS on how to be a female jihadi will soon appear in the pages of Cosmopolitan, the magazine has confirmed.

NASA probe seeks new planets to borrow money from

A NASA space probe has been launched to find Earth-like planets who can lend us money.

New Harper Lee book finally explains how to kill mockingbirds

AUTHOR Harper Lee has promised that her new book will contain explicit instructions on how to catch and kill mockingbirds.

Millions registering to vote so they can write ‘f**kers’ on ballot paper

MILLIONS of people are registering to vote so they can scrawl obscenities across their worthless ballot paper.

Children ‘know which brand of beer they are drinking’

CHILDREN are more familiar with Fosters lager than McVities biscuits because they prefer beer to Hobnobs.

Couples declare their love is as strong as a £1.29 padlock

THE love lock craze has seen thousands of couples pledging their devotion is as unbreakable as a padlock from Poundstretcher.