Grown man still telling people what he wants to do when he grows up

A 37- YEAR-OLD man with a mortgage and a child on the way is still telling people what he wants to do when he grows up.

Man can't believe woman behind till isn't uncontrollably attracted to him

SHOP assistants who are friendly are just doing their jobs and do not desperately fancy their customers, men have been told.

Jobseekers to face sanctions if they don't appear in Channel 5 documentaries 

PEOPLE claiming benefits are to face sanctions if they do not appear in a Channel 5 documentary about unemployed people.

Today is the perfect day to crap on the carpet, decides dog

A NEW carpet has given a family dog a fresh sense of purpose in life, it has emerged.

Reluctant locals forced to participate in cheese rolling

UNWILLING Gloucestershire residents have been made to chase a wheel of cheese down a hill by Londoners wanting to see authentic rural life.

Dire predictions that houses may become affordable

ECONOMISTS have warned Britain faces a doomsday scenario in which ordinary people on average wages would be able to buy their own homes.

We’ve been hurt so bad before, voters tell polls

THE UK electorate wants to trust but is still carrying emotional baggage from its bad experiences with polls in the past, it has admitted.

Trump pulls out of 21st century

DONALD Trump has pulled the US out of the liberal consensus of having a ‘2’ at the beginning of the year.