News

Stony-hearted Britons struggling to feel anything for supermarkets

SHOCKED Britons have found themselves at a point of 'supermarket compassion fatigue'.

Energy drinks recommended as part of an unhealthy lifestyle

ENERGY drinks are the perfect complement to partying too much and eating ready meals, according to medical experts.

Sitting alone in car parks confirmed as top leisure activity

MOST adults spend more then ten hours a week slumped in stationary cars hiding from their miserable lives, it has emerged.

Football Manager not real

THE Football Manager games depict fictional events with no bearing on reality, it has been confirmed.

BBC4 canal boat programme contains subliminal gay porn

SPLIT-SECOND frames of hardcore gay pornography were spliced into BBC4’s All Aboard! The Canal Boat Trip.

Biggest dickhead from school now doing MMA

THE biggest dickhead you grew up with is now claiming to be a mixed martial arts fighter.

Princess named after three people Charles hates

PRINCESS Charlotte Elizabeth Diana was named after Prince Charles' greatest enemies, it has emerged.

Bank Holiday refreshes workers’ loathing of jobs

A THREE-DAY weekend has reinvigorated workers’ resentment of the shit they have to do for money.