Group of teenagers to collectively roll incredibly bad joint

SIX teenagers have announced a plan to collectively roll a unsmokeably bad joint.

Wetherspoons impossible to boycott

BRITONS who would like to boycott Wetherspoons because of its chairman’s political views have admitted it is impossible.

Playgrounds to become thrillingly dangerous again

CHILDREN can once again crack their heads open on concrete while swinging on rusted metal bars when the UK scraps EU protection laws.

Logical next step for Britain is series of colonial conquests

THE best way to make Britain great again is to invade resource-rich territories and enslave their people, Boris Johnson has claimed.

City twats enjoy week of patronising rural people

A GROUP of hipsters have spent an ironic week in the country laughing at the backwardness of the benighted locals.

Britain to revisit golden age of chucking shopping trolleys in rivers

THE new pound coin has forced Tesco to unlock its trolleys, most of which are expected to end up in Britain's waterways in the next few days.

Man hates environment because liberals quite like it

A MAN is opposed to protecting the environment because upsetting 'liberals' gives him a feeling of satisfaction, he has revealed.

Train woman pulling that bag on seat shit

A PASSENGER on a busy train is acting like her bags are not on the seat next to her.