ORDINARY Americans have warned Scotland the momentous change it is being sold is total bullshit.
BRITONS would be happy to live under strict sharia law if they could get pissed, a survey has found.
THE queue for the new Apple Watch has already circled the entire globe once and is still growing.
THE Queen is not particularly interested in Scotland because she is unable to ride it.
THE Duchess of Cambridge is to fufil all her public engagements while throwing up.
THE majority of Britain’s hedgehogs, moles and hares have made homes in derelict DVD libraries.
TELEPATHY would be a huge step forward in human evolution and also an absolute nightmare, scientists have confirmed.
AMERICANS have begged England to stop sending them smug, fat-faced English television presenters.