MANKIND has commemorated World War One with armed conflicts around the planet.
SCIENTISTS have confirmed that your circle of dickheads is biggest in your late twenties.
ALL art looks like a pair of buttocks, according to children.
JOBSEEKERS need family connections just to get work sweeping up fish entrails, it has emerged.
OWNERS of open-top cars are secretly aware that the novelty has worn off.
BMW'S jeep-type thing is being openly advertised as a vehicle for pricks.
THE Fall frontman Mark E Smith is to replace Nicole Scherzinger in the next series of The X Factor.
THE Commonwealth Games closing celebrations are still going, will DJs playing increasingly hard techno.