News

British Council of Boy Racers to decide if Mazdas are cool

BRITAIN’S highest-ranking boy racer council will this weekend decide whether Mazdas are cool.

Being genuinely thoughtful more effective than being a shit, claims man

A MAN has claimed that being genuinely thoughtful and kind is a better way of getting whatever he wants than plotting and manipulating.

Middle class students excited to 'do weed' for first time

A GROUP of middle class students are terribly excited to 'do' some weed, it has been confirmed.

Self-obsessed twat declares entire week his birthday week

A TWAT has announced that a single day is not enough for his birthday.

Superhero to use most powerful move 'much earlier' in future adventures

A SUPERHERO has realised that from now on he should probably use his most powerful move a lot earlier.

Couple laugh about cliché of 'flat pack furniture arguments' then have massive row anyway

A COUPLE who joked about how putting IKEA furniture together would ruin their relationship now have half a Billy bookcase and hate each other's guts.

Antique exercise bike discovered under pile of laundry 

A WOMAN clearing out laundry from her spare room has unearthed an original 1982 exercise bike believed to be one of the first in Britain.

Six-year-old’s enjoyment of snow dampened by concern about UK productivity levels

A SIX-YEAR-OLD girl’s joy at playing in the snow was overshadowed by her fears of the impact the weather was having on the UK economy.