News

Trainspotting 2 about appreciating real ale

DIRECTOR Danny Boyle has confirmed that the new Trainspotting film will focus on the enjoyment of real ale.

Patronising English arseholes wondering why Scotland might want independence

ENGLISH people who keep taking the piss out of Scotland are also baffled as to why the country might want independence.

Workers’ cafe has untouched copy of Guardian

A LOCAL cafe has a copy of today’s Guardian that will remain forever untouched by human hands.

Robot Wars enters peace talks phase

THE combatants of BBC series Robot Wars have decided to settle their differences peacefully.

Can we do hanging next? asks Britain

BRITONS have demanded another important issue to vote on without much thought for the consequences.

Neighbourhood traumatised by uncovered knees

LOCALS are coming to terms with having seen their neighbour's weird knees over the weekend.

France condemned as petty, jumped-up country obsessed with protecting its borders

FRANCE hates foreigners and thinks it is better than neighbouring countries, it has been claimed.

Young offenders sentenced to two weeks at service station on the M6

TWO youths convicted of selling cannabis in Wolverhampton have been sentenced to a fortnight at Hilton Park services on the M6.