THE Forth Road Bridge has been closed after engineers discovered it was well over the safe alcohol limit, it has emerged.
ALL work done on Friday afternoon is to be replaced by an art class or physical exercise.
WORKERS have been told not to disclose their Secret Santa identity on pain of death.
HOUSE prices are rising so fast that home ownership is only possible in shitholes, say experts.
DAVID Cameron has insisted Britain’s latest war can be used to tackle the country’s weight problem.
A NEW edition of Mein Kampf is being updated for a modern, multicultural audience.
LEONARDO DiCaprio’s new film features a sensual scene of loving, playful intercourse with a brown bear.
A PECKHAM-BASED man has realised that the social transformation of the area is exemplified by him.