NORTHERN rail commuters have admitted that they have no real need to go anywhere very fast.
CONTROLLING boyfriends think Danny Pink is the all-time top Doctor Who companion, it has emerged.
MORE than half of Taylor Swift's new album is about her brief but tempestuous relationship with George Osborne.
THE UK's children have increased their price for not being little bastards during half-term.
UNEMPLOYED Wayne Hayes is under the impression that 12 emails a day is a lot.
BRITAIN is to dig a tunnel through the Pennines because it was unable to come up with anything else.
PROFESSOR Brian Cox is an extra-terrestrial, it has emerged.
PICTURES of kids flying kites really sum up what is happening in Afghanistan, according to editors.