Terrified Shell flees Arctic as quickly as possible

OIL giant Shell has refused to discuss what it found deep below the surface of the Arctic.

Mars has bad feeling about this

THE planet Mars is increasingly uneasy about the attention it is getting from humans.

‘Road rage’ may just be ‘bastard rage’, say experts

SO-CALLED ‘road rage’ may simply be the result of being a bad-tempered bastard in any given situation.

500-word TripAdvisor review to be made into a movie

A BRITISH holidaymaker will see his epic Tripadvisor review made into a major Hollywood movie.

Goldfish’s attention span now better than yours

THE attention span of the goldfish is now superior to that of humans.

Bond producers forget to make film

THE makers of the new James Bond film have been so busy with product placement they have forgotten to make the movie.

Furious mob targets mildly annoying thing

ANGRY protesters have laid siege to a 'cereal cafe' in East London because it is quite annoying.

Someone on Facebook has been for a run

SOMEONE on Facebook has been for a big run while you were lying in bed, it has been confirmed.