News

Creepy wartime family confirmed as ultimate role models

YOU should be like this eerie 40s-style family, it has been confirmed.

'How-Old' shattering your delusions with tremendous enthusiasm

THE Microsoft website which tells you how old you look is thoroughly enjoying your horrified reaction.

Britain demands the abolition of small talk

BRITAIN has condemned small talk as idiotic and pointless and called for its immediate abolition.

'Prick' replacing 'bellend' as insult of choice

USE of the insult ‘prick’ is at its highest level since the late 1980s, researchers have found.

SNP developing its own flag and salute

THE Scottish National Party is to develop its own flag and a special salute for party members.

Church to invest in something other than oil or poor people

THE Church of England is to sell its shares in fossil fuel companies and continue to not give that money to the poor.

So we meet again, Southern tells commuters

SOUTHERN trains has admitted its passengers are 'resilient bastards' who do not know when they are beaten.

Life now nasty, brutish and long

INCREASED life expectancy has forced several key sayings about man’s lot to be revised.