News

Woman unsure if she is meditating or just bored

A WOMAN who recently took up meditation cannot tell if she has reached a higher spiritual plane or is just incredibly bored.

This part of Brexit movie will be a montage, says director

BREXIT is currently in the part of the film where nothing will happen for a while so it will all be put together as a montage set to music, it has been confirmed.

Easter eggs about a tenth the size you remember, confirm experts

MODERN Easter eggs are barely two disappointing mouthfuls, adults have complained.

Sunny weather fills local park with dickheads

THE recent sunny weather has lead to a sharp increase in dickheads going to the park.

City trader who works 18 hours a day thinks he's 'a winner'

A MAN who works in a high level city job and gets four hours sleep a night considers his life a success.

Airport pubs hailed as best bit of going on holiday

BEING able to get legitimately drunk at 7am is the best part of going abroad, it has been confirmed.

Man expects praise for not being a misogynist

A MAN thinks he deserves recognition and respect for not being an obvious misogynist.

Middle-aged friends instantly regret buying festival tickets

SEVERAL middle-aged friends are regretting buying tickets to a festival this summer.