DIRECTOR Danny Boyle has confirmed that the new Trainspotting film will focus on the enjoyment of real ale.
ENGLISH people who keep taking the piss out of Scotland are also baffled as to why the country might want independence.
A LOCAL cafe has a copy of today’s Guardian that will remain forever untouched by human hands.
THE combatants of BBC series Robot Wars have decided to settle their differences peacefully.
BRITONS have demanded another important issue to vote on without much thought for the consequences.
LOCALS are coming to terms with having seen their neighbour's weird knees over the weekend.
FRANCE hates foreigners and thinks it is better than neighbouring countries, it has been claimed.
TWO youths convicted of selling cannabis in Wolverhampton have been sentenced to a fortnight at Hilton Park services on the M6.
- Conspiracy theorists finally convinced no secret society could possibly be running this mess
- Company almost forgets to cover product with incredibly hard to remove stickers
- Dress-down Friday a total shitshow
- NHS to recruit debutante heiress nurses
- Neighbour loving song that goes 'dun dun dun, dun-dun dun-dun dun dun'