News

Queen drops Slayer song titles into speech

THE Queen’s Speech is littered with song titles from thrash metal act Slayer, it has emerged. 

Entire office seems to be doing some sort of roleplay

EVERYONE in an office appears to be playing out a cliched role in a slightly over-dramatic way, a new employee has noticed.

Normal mugs almost wiped out by aggressive Sports Direct mugs

BRITAIN’S indigenous mugs are being wiped out by the larger and more aggressive Sports Direct mugs.

Everyone at Cannes film festival thinks they are better than you

EXPERTS have confirmed that everyone at the Cannes Festival thinks they are better than you in every way.

Nation rejoices as tyranny of free BBC recipes ends

THE UK is celebrating in the streets after the BBC’s evil reign over internet recipes has been ended. 

Girlfriend wants to go and see a play

A WOMAN struck terror into her boyfriend’s heart by suggesting they go to see a play, it has emerged.

Humanity hails first selfless act involving a penis

A PIONEERING penis transplant may be the first time the male organ has actually helped someone, it has been claimed.

Hungover office worker convinced headphones make him invisible

A HUNGOVER office worker is this morning hoping that wearing headphones will somehow make him invisible.