THINGY who was in Harry Potter is in a mood about some load of bollocks, it has emerged.
THE boss of a small business has compared a minor staffing issue to a terrifying maritime disaster, it has emerged.
HUGH Grant’s politician character from Love Actually is now a raving far-right lunatic who hates immigrants, it has emerged.
A MAN’S friends have been thrown into crisis after it emerged that his new girlfriend is ‘against drugs’.
DONALD Trump has claimed Barack Obama has been stalking him for the last three decades.
A ‘MOCKTAIL’ drinker has admitted she secretly adds a ‘great deal of vodka’ to her absurd, teetotal concoctions.
A MAN who shares feminist memes online cannot work out why women behave 'like such rude bitches'.
AS he celebrates his 60th birthday Mark E Smith has pledged to be ‘less mainstream and easy going’.
- Media begin search for new far right nutter to turn into a household name
- Joy of spring curtailed by remembering it pisses it down throughout
- Single policeman 'could cover whole UK if they tried hard enough'
- US fears Trump may discover emojis
- Addiction warnings on heroin packaging ‘the nanny state gone mad’