THE new chairman of the BBC is a violent criminal known as the ‘Skull Cracker’.
THE government has announced a switch to montage-based training like in Rocky and The Karate Kid.
THE Ukraine and Russia are to give each other maximum points in the Eurovision song contest despite basically being at war.
MOST people would have sex with basic robots that don't even have faces.
CHICKENS have thanked consumers for their concern over methods of slaughter and asked if that goodwill could be extended to just leaving them alone.
BRITAIN'S drug laws only work against 35-year-olds who have been ground down by years of inconvenience, it has been claimed.
WHITE people with dreadlocks are not facing as much discrimination as they would ideally like, it has emerged.
DRINKS maker Coca-Cola has admitted using severed human heads to add a touch of piquancy.