Man hands teddy bear into lost property instead of putting it on social media

TWITTER and Facebook users are hunting for a man who failed to turn a lost toy into a viral internet phenomenon.

New laid-back automated checkout doesn’t give a shit what’s in the bagging area

TESCO’S new automated till has the character of a divorced middle-aged woman with a borderline drink problem.

Time traveller dismayed to see that urinals are still around

A TIME traveller from 1964 has expressed his shock and disgust that men are still urinating into a trough.

Sniffer dogs ‘being set up as migrant crisis scapegoats’

SNIFFER dogs drafted in to tackle the Channel Tunnel migrant chaos are worried they are being ‘stitched up’ by David Cameron.

Theatre goers annoyed by man in audience watching 42-inch TV

WEST End theatre goers have complained after a man watched Apocalypse Now on a 42 inch plasma TV during a performance of Harold Pinter’s The Caretaker.

Lorry drivers' conversations now apocalyptically racist

STRANDED lorry drivers in Kent have broken records for the level of violent racism in their conversations.

Today final deadline for summer romances, warns HMRC

REVENUE & Customs has warned that all summer romances must begin by midnight.

Cheaper to commute from Moon than live in London

COMMUTING from the Sea of Tranquility is now cheaper than renting a studio flat in Camden.