BRITAIN is celebrating that special day when you only work the hours you are paid to work.
THE forthcoming all-night London Underground services will be even scarier than night buses, according to Boris Johnson.
SIXTY per cent of Tesco stores are roofless wrecks inhabited by tribes of feral monkeys, auditors have found.
HER Majesty the Queen has the sexual energy of a young Michelle Pfeiffer, it has been confirmed.
MUSIC fans are pretending to enjoy the challenging electronica of Aphex Twin for the first time since the 1990s.
ALL creative works must now be based on something else, it has been announced.
MORGAN Freeman has agreed to appear in a wise, solemn but twinkling role in a film yet to be conceived.
OWNERS of Apple’s latest smartphone are likely to break down if it falls on the floor, it has been claimed.