News

Ryanair ‘business class’ just ticket for different airline

RYANAIR has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.

Mafia ‘in awe’ of UK train companies

A GROUP of New York mobsters has visited Britain to get tips on exploitation from train companies.

Seven year-olds to be taught how to end relationships via text

PRIMARY schoolchildren are to be educated in ending relationships by text, email, and Skype.

All new houses to be made of televisions

BUILDERS have completed the first UK home made entirely from television sets.

Apple to reclaim the word ‘gimmick’

TECHNOLOGY giant Apple has launched a campaign to remove the negative connotations of the word ‘gimmick’.

Music industry to help hot homeless people

THOUSANDS of physically attractive people don’t have anywhere to live, according to pop stars.

Kate Bush to lead audience away like a pied piper

KATE Bush is to lure her audience away from London to a place from which they will never return.

Army in house to house search for dangerous Hoovers

THE Army is kicking in doors across Britain today in the search for extreme vacuum cleaners.