THE terrifying black-eyed child haunting Cannock Chase is only after a scooter, it explained.
A COUPLE has begun the first tentative moves towards sexual intercourse before the end of October.
BANKSY artworks are being removed by councils who had no idea they were allowed to just paint over them.
BRITAIN is to scrap all human rights laws and just go with its gut.
POPE Francis is under medical supervision after claiming he is in contact with angels.
THE Met Office has confessed that no weather records have been kept because it seemed like a really boring thing to do.
MEETING or exceeding work targets is now being recognised with a range of shiny stickers.
PRO-DEMOCRACY protesters in Hong Kong have been praised for having normal hair and not wearing stupid clown costumes.