'This is a witch hunt' says man who would have happily burnt women at stake 400 years ago

MEN are being subjected to a witch hunt according to a man who would have burnt a woman at the stake 400 years ago for turning down his sexual advances.

The days are getting longer, confirm cheerful twats

PEOPLE who insist the days are getting longer are leaving a trail of psychological destruction across Britain.

'Bring back British hand swearing'

THE traditional British V-sign is being undermined by the transatlantic 'middle finger' type of hand abuse, it has been claimed.

Man tells usual Friday lie about not spending entire weekend playing videogames

A 28-YEAR-OLD has once again pretended he has genuine plans for the weekend.

Stressed workaholic finds plenty of time to tell you about it

A MAN who is constantly 'up to his eyes' in work always has an hour free to complain about just hard he is working, it has emerged.

I have always been an eco-warrior, by Theresa May

I HAVE always been a passionate supporter of the environment. Trees, ditches, wasps – these are all truly wonderful nature things.

Eating McDonald’s on train more antisocial than urinating in the aisle

CONSUMING fast food on a train is more offensive than open public urination, passengers have agreed.

Woman saves time on baking by just begging people to like her

A WOMAN has saved hours a week she used to spend on baking by just going around begging people to like her, she has revealed.