A CHAOS Daemon from space wargame Warhammer 40,000 has shamefacedly yielded to PETA’s request to remove fur from its armour.
A LOCAL odd job man has admitted that some jobs are too big or small for him.
DONALD Trump has fired all officials who lack the blank-eyed stare of the undead.
THE young Han Solo mainly smuggled fags in his ‘space van’ and sold them in pubs, the latest Star Wars film will reveal.
THE QUEEN has confirmed that if President Trump makes a state visit, she can kill him with a sword and nobody can touch her.
A CAT has rejected claims that he gets fed in more than one household.
SOME of Britain’s most unbearable pricks have confirmed that they find Donald Trump's level of dickishness excessive.
A MAN whose flat is full of posters for films like Casablanca and Apocalypse Now has no idea what any of them are actually about, it has emerged.