News

Alien doughnut proves Krispy Kreme not of this Earth

KRISPY Kreme doughnuts are weird because they come from Mars, it has emerged.

Single hit of heroin contains six spoons of sugar

HEALTH watchdogs have warned heroin addicts that they are risking their lives by consuming up to eighteen spoonfuls of sugar a day.

It wasn't deliberate, says Titanic glacier

THE glacier that spawned the 'Titanic iceberg' has denied any malicious intent.

Government issues guidelines for encounters with white BMWs

Official guidelines for safely handling encounters with white BMWs, Mercedes and Audis have been published by the Department of Transport.

Being cool and being a parent not compatible

IT is not possible to be cool and a parent, experts have warned.

Lloyds horse quits

THE Lloyds horse has stepped down after losing confidence in the bank.

New Cure album aimed at hard people

THE Cure's new album is aimed at people with big necks who are good at fighting.

Michelin Guide ‘should really mention stuff about vomiting’

THE Michelin Guide to restaurants should at least touch on the subject of vomit, it has been claimed.