News

Viewers think Wolf Hall is about modern people who dress weirdly

MOST people who watch period drama Wolf Hall think it is about modern-day mentally ill people who dress in colourful tights.

Tree is a government patsy, says internet

BLOGGERS have claimed that a tree involved in a bus crash was deliberately planted by the government. 

Boring conformity now a massive achievement

LEADING a dull suburban life with a mortgage and two children is now a phenomenal achievement, everyone has agreed.

Michelangelo reclassified as heavy metal artist

TWO newly-discovered Michelangelo bronzes of muscular men riding panthers have seen his work embraced by the heavy metal community.

Narcissistic Britons worried they might not be on police photo database

MILLIONS of self-absorbed UK residents are concerned that their photos may not be included in a police database.

Londoners hoping for enough snow to build homes

LONDON renters are hoping for enough snowfall to fashion their own crude igloo-style dwellings.

Greece ordered not to have hot summers and lovely blue sea

EU CHIEFS have ordered Greece to give up its sunny climate, sandy beaches and general pleasantness.

Family knows maximum amount it would spend to keep dog alive

A FAMILY has decided that if their dog ever needed veterinary treatment costing over £1000 they would not bother.