MILLIONS of gallons of face paint washed off in the wake of Brazil’s humiliating defeat have turned the nation’s rivers turquoise.
ACTOR George Clooney may break the habit of a lifetime and switch from the Daily Mail to the Daily Express.
THE Drugs Policy Unit has announced that the possession of poor quality cannabis is no longer against the law.
A CANCER cure has lost out on Kickstarter to a humorous scheme to buy a garden gnome a hat.
TESCO has launched a special Tight Bastard range aimed at misers.
BRITAIN is reeling under an onslaught of Pimm’s-fuelled violence and disorder due to forgetting that the summer drink is alcoholic.
SCOTLAND'S official uniform for the Commonwealth Games is intended to start a war with England.
PRODUCERS have confirmed that the next Bond movie will feature him getting kicked out of Wetherspoons.