News

Size of wine glass linked to how smug you are

PEOPLE who make a point of drinking out of wine glasses the size of fish bowls are the smuggest bastards of all, it has been confirmed.

Car apparently fun

A MAN owns an extra car that he claims to drive for ‘fun’, it has emerged.

New dating app launched for Remainers incapable of discussing anything else

OBSESSIVE Remain voters who have lost the ability to think about any other topic now have their own dating app.

Stoned guys agree organised religion is bullshit but there probably is a God

TWO stoned guys have concluded there probably is some sort of God out there but that all religions are nonsense.

Friend with wife, children and six-figure job thinks he's better than you

A FRIEND who has a stable marriage, two happy children, a fulfilling high-earning career, a big house and an expensive car believes it makes him superior to you.

Black cab drivers to revel in victory over Uber for centuries to come

LONDON drivers have already started to relate to their passengers the Great Saga of the Black Cabs’ Triumph over Uber which will be told for centuries to come.

Everyone already hates mature student

A MATURE student returning to university to take a second degree is already loathed by his fellow students and tutors alike, they have confirmed.