News

Man resigns himself to having to date Taylor Swift

A 28-YEAR-OLD British man has resigned himself to the inevitability of a relationship with Taylor Swift.

Prince Philip ever so proud

THE Duke of Edinburgh is absolutely delighted to see his grandson on the cover of a gay magazine.

Brexit music festival cancelled due to everything about it

A MUSIC festival to promote Brexit has been cancelled because it was an incredibly terrible idea on every level, the organisers have revealed.

Bjork going to f**k Ronaldo up

ICELANDIC singer Bjork is flying to France to kick Cristiano Ronaldo’s arse, police have confirmed.

Woman expected more ‘likes' for fourth pregnancy

A WOMAN has expressed dismay after the news that she is having her fourth baby only got 36 ‘likes' on Facebook.

Owls sick of being stereotyped as Harry Potter postal assistants

OWLS have demanded to be recognised as wild, majestic creatures rather than key workers in a fantasy post office.

Dory found dead behind fish tank

THE lead character of Pixar's Finding Dory dies after jumping out of a fish tank for no reason, it has emerged.

Game of Thrones fans hooked on ‘milk of the poppy’

GAME of Thrones fans who have tried the ‘milk of the poppy’ frequently plugged on the series have proclaimed themselves to be completely hooked.