News

Son laughs as father plays him Stone Roses album

A 45-YEAR-OLD man was laughed at when he tried to explain The Stone Roses to his son.

Smug baby post followed by revolting arse-wiping

A WOMAN posted a smug Facebook status update about her baby and then had to clean up its liquid shit, it has emerged.

Monster Munch put in UK inflation basket to shut kids up

A SIX-PACK of Monster Munch and two toffee fudge milkshakes have been added to the inflation basket to stop children whining.

Crufts winners don’t look like that in real life, say bitter ordinary dogs

WINNING Crufts would be easy if you practised all day, ordinary dogs have claimed.

Manchester-Leeds link to disprove ‘light at end of tunnel’ theory

AN UNDERGROUND road between Manchester and Leeds will disprove the theory that all tunnels have a light at the end of them, it has been claimed.

Last option to fix man’s tattoos is colouring him in completely

A MAN has so many unsightly tattoos that the best option is to colour all of him in with blue-grey ink, a tattoo artist has decided.

Tits and Dragons is a much better name, agrees George R R Martin

GEORGE RR Martin is to change Game of Thrones’s title to Tits and Dragons, it has been confirmed.

Right-wing dad fails to see irony of Top Gear Cenotaph stunt

54-YEAR-OLD Roy Hobbs has seen nothing funny in Top Gear’s foreign host offending his host nation’s cultural sensibilities.