BOSSES are acting like the bank holiday is a special treat of their devising.
SALES administrator Tom Booker failed to show enthusiasm during a works outing, it has been claimed.
NEARLY all DJs are called Lee, it has emerged.
WORKERS are dreading the prospect of another three-day weekend so soon after Easter.
JEREMY Clarkson has explained that his persona comes from being teased at school about his grapefruit-shaped penis.
ALEX Salmond has finally admitted he hates Scotland and wants the country to be independent so he can abolish it.
THE Queen has formally announced that she will spend her retirement living in stables as a horse.
ALL consumer goods are to come with a contract for a shitty 'flexible hours' job