INSPIRATIONAL teachers have no place in Brexit Britain and will be scrapped, the government has confirmed.
LONDONERS have told the gorilla which tried to escape from London Zoo that it is all of them, and it was doomed from the start.
ANGRY novelists have stressed that writing a novel is really difficult and writing some folks songs is not.
A MARMITE fan is worried he cannot function without the delightful taste of yeast.
DAVID Cameron has become a barista in an independent coffee shop until he gets his ‘head space’ together.
A WOMAN has more or less announced that she is pregnant by turning down the offer of alcohol.
A MAN has once again put the big light on despite knowing full well that his girlfriend prefers the lamps.
THE reliable, boring people who own Samsung phones are experiencing their most nearly-exciting day ever.
- Meditation leads to painfully obvious spiritual insights
- Parents welcome third child who is clearly an accident
- ‘Killer clowns’ either complex sociological phenomenon or just twats
- Man always knew exploding phone would be the way he’d go
- Man accidentally walks in on flatmate painting Warhammer figurines