News

Woman cheating on husband with video of Tom Hardy reading children's stories

A WOMAN has admitted to cheating on her husband with a video of Tom Hardy reading the Bedtime Story on CBeebies.

Thatcher and Reagan was beautiful romance that made us fear for our lives, explain 40-somethings

MIDDLE-AGED Britons have explained to young people that Reagan and Thatcher shared a beautiful eight-year romance that almost triggered armageddon.

Tesco buying Londis so they can charge 85p for a can of Tizer

TESCO is buying Londis because they can charge 85p for a Tizer and up to £1.60 for a loaf of white bread.

On-the-spot fines for f**kers who don't buy their round

SNEAKY fuckers who do not get their round in face an £80 on-the-spot fine, it has been confirmed.

Lone well person in office feeling left out

THE only healthy person on his office floor is considering faking a chesty cough to fit in better.

‘The crowd definitely reached all the way to the Washington Monument,’ Trump tells May

PRESIDENT Trump has spent his full hour with the prime minister discussing the crucial issue of underestimated crowd sizes at his inauguration last week.

'On hold' music to get angrier the longer you are on hold

THE length of time a person has been on hold to a call centre is to be reflected by increasingly furious hold music.

So-called 'smartphone' not smart enough to avoid being dropped in the bog

A TOP-OF-THE-RANGE smartphone was not smart enough to avoid being dropped in a nightclub toilet.