News

Bosses acting like bank holiday was their idea

BOSSES are acting like the bank holiday is a special treat of their devising.

Man accused of not being fun

SALES administrator Tom Booker failed to show enthusiasm during a works outing, it has been claimed.

94 per cent of DJs called Lee

NEARLY all DJs are called Lee, it has emerged.

Britain not ready for another day off

WORKERS are dreading the prospect of another three-day weekend so soon after Easter.

It all comes down to having a weird-looking penis, says Clarkson

JEREMY Clarkson has explained that his persona comes from being teased at school about his grapefruit-shaped penis.

I only want Scotland to be independent so I can destroy it, admits Salmond

ALEX Salmond has finally admitted he hates Scotland and wants the country to be independent so he can abolish it.

Queen to live as a horse

THE Queen has formally announced that she will spend her retirement living in stables as a horse.

Everything you buy to come with zero-hours contract

ALL consumer goods are to come with a contract for a shitty 'flexible hours' job