A TIME capsule containing the Ebola virus, a bent iPhone 6 and a UKIP manifesto has been buried as a warning to future humans.
A COMMUNITY choir that welcomes all singing abilities would quite like it if the tuneless ones stopped turning up, it has emerged.
A NEW model of car is as unremarkable as your personality, according to its makers.
SWEDEN has dropped depth charges in three squares of the Baltic in an attempt to hit a Russian submarine.
A BUS driver has confirmed that he welcomes passengers of all races, creeds and sexual orientations provided they do not try to pay with a note.
PASSENGERS on turbulent flights are pretending to read the in-flight magazine while inwardly shitting themselves.
RESEARCHERS into seasonal affective disorder believe it may be caused by everything being dark, cold and awful for months on end.
NEW research has found that in any situation involving multiple humans one of them will be deliberately uncooperative.