WOMEN with no interest in copulation are bereft following the marriage of their dream man George Clooney.
ACTOR Stephen Fry has admitted refusing to share his cocaine with a furious Prince Philip.
THE new FIFA game is so realistic that it knows if players are smokers, drug addicts or closeted homosexuals.
ALEX Salmond has been asked if he would like to run Syria for a bit.
A STAG party has petered out after only three hours of drinking.
THE Speaker of the House has stuck on his special war compilation CD to get ministers fired up.
THE Brian Cox of Earth-161 has confirmed that the multiverse is real and our Brian Cox is a loser.
APPLE has admitted its new iPhone will bend if you are determined to bend it.