GREECE is to establish a system that collects money from its citizens.
MODERN men have been warned that their fathers could easily kick the shit out of them.
RESEARCHERS have discovered huge craters in Siberia that would be perfect for a rave.
BINGE drinkers are highly sensitive intellectuals coping with the inherent pain of human existence, it has emerged.
ROLF Harris has been stripped of his honorary Stylophone.
A MEMBER of the middle class has admitted not having seen the stage version of Warhorse.
THE Daily Mail will never get over the novelty of privately educated people making bad decisions, it has been confirmed.
PEOPLE who have yet to watch Adam Curtis's Bitter Lake have been banned from expressing views on anything.