News

‘So-called experts’ actually experts

PEOPLE who decided to ignore 'the so-called experts’ have conceded that they did in fact have useful knowledge.

Father pissed off he can't swear in front of toddler any more

THE father of a two-year-old has admitted wiping away tears after realising his son is no longer oblivious to his foul language.

Clarkson apologises to cold food

JEREMY Clarkson has officially apologised to cold cuts and salads after saying they were not good enough for him.

Mars bars recalled because they help you do f**k all

MARS bars have been recalled across Europe following the discovery they help consumers to do nothing except become fatter.

Gorilla mother faces backlash following c-section birth

A BRISTOL Zoo-based gorilla mother is under fire after it was claimed she made no effort to have a natural birth.

Stoners adopt 'designated talker' system

WEED lovers are trialling a system whereby one person in the group remains capable of communicating, they have announced.

Brexit rebranded as Bring Back Duty Free

THE Brexit campaign is receiving record backing from the public after being rebranded as Bring Back Duty Free.

Noam Chomsky steps aside to make way for Russell Brand

THE world’s most renowned left-wing thinker has decided to retire following Russell Brand’s latest online rant, it has been confirmed.