News

Guardian produces French dictionary with masculine nouns removed

THE Guardian has created a French dictionary that contains only feminine words.

Everybody wondering if it's okay to change profile back now

NO-ONE wants to be the first to remove the Pride rainbow from their Facebook picture, it has emerged.

Workers lunching outdoors decide to turn feral

OFFICE workers eating their sandwiches in the park are increasingly never going back to work or society.

Other cans think San Pellegrino is an arsehole

ALL other canned drinks regard San Pellegrino as a smug prick with a stupid foil hat, it has emerged.

Getting wasted in tent declared highlight of Glastonbury

THE best thing at Glastonbury was getting smashed in your tent, it has emerged.

Dad has to admit some of those gays are in good shape

54-YEAR-OLD plumber Tom Booker has grudgingly complimented the physiques of Gay Pride participants.

Germany's a bit depressing, says Queen

THE Queen is not enjoying her visit to Germany, it has emerged.

Every guest room has weird painting on wall

EVERY guest bedroom in human history has had an unsettling picture hanging on the wall, it has been confirmed.