PAUL McCartney has become the first artist to irritate three generations of music fans after appearing on Rihanna's new single.
LONDON is now officially sponsored by its cocaine dealers.
GREEK voters have defied expectation by choosing not to be beaten like cringing dogs for the next five years.
HAVING an innovative multimedia CV makes you stand out from the pack as a particularly tedious person, according to employers.
ADRIAN Chiles has been dropped from ITV's football coverage after admitting he is undergoing a series of operations to become a badger.
THE people, places, objects and locations that make up the physical world are not as fulfilling as smartphones, it has emerged.
FUSSY, demanding people are hinting that they have mild OCD as a means of justifying their behaviour.
THE world has greeted news that the Doomsday Clock stands at three minutes to midnight by reaching sleepily out and pressing the button that shuts it up.