News

Kent emotionally devastated by earthquake

KENT residents have said they may never trust the earth again after being hit by a 4.2 magnitude earthquake.

Henry Hoover watches you sleep

YOUR Henry Hoover comes into your bedroom at night and watches you from inches away, researchers have discovered.

Wonga advert features only thing more terrifying than puppets

MONEY lender Wonga has replaced its menacing pensioner puppets with even more menacing dinner ladies.

Cameron unveils plan to steal money from foreigners

DAVID Cameron has confirmed it is okay to steal stuff from foreigners.

Play-offs to decide school league tables

OFSTED School Performance Tables will culminate in play-offs and a Wembley Final.

Avoid trains, says Network Rail

THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.

Urban foxes making annoyingly specific food demands

HOUSEHOLDERS have been warned against feeding urban foxes as the animals are fussy and claim to have intolerances.

Gay cake converted entire tray of bread rolls to homosexuality

A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.