News

Girlfriends confirm nothing is wrong although their manner suggests otherwise

BRITAIN’S girlfriends have confirmed that nothing is wrong, but in a slightly offhand way which suggests that this may not be the case.

Red Hot Chili Peppers still a thing, public warned

MUSIC fans have been warned that the Red Hot Chili Peppers still exist.

Middle-class couple traumatised by V Festival

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple who went to V Festival have been left shocked and horrified.

Batteries in remote granted eternal life

THE batteries in a television remote have seemingly been granted eternal life by a force greater than us.

Barbecue happening even if we all drown, man tells friends

A MAN who is holding a barbecue on Saturday is going ahead with it no matter what, he has confirmed.

Desperate hipster wonders when it's all going to end 


A SAD hipster is desperate to know when he can go back to being normal.

London is the world’s friendliest city, now f**k off, say residents

A SURVEY to find the world’s friendliest city has been told in no uncertain terms that it is London, unless the researchers have a problem with that.

Student celebrates ‘A with a shitload of stars’ grade

A STUDENT is celebrating getting the first ‘A with a shitload of stars’ grade at A Level.