News

Britain secures trade deal with mysterious country no-one's heard of

TRADE secretary Liam Fox has negotiated a superb trade deal with the previously unknown country of Mungotania, he has claimed.

Buddhist has no idea what it is

A MAN who is into Buddhism has incredible difficulty explaining what it is, people have noticed.

Trees ordered to pick all that shit up

TREES have been told to immediately pick up all the leaves they have dumped everywhere or face the consequences. 

Britain hit by Instagram filter

THE UK’s sky was hacked with a rogue Instagram filter, the MOD has confirmed. 

Time-waster parents banned from using Pets At Home as free day out

SCUMBAG parents with no intention of buying animals have been told to stop bringing their bloody kids to Pets At Home.

Boyfriend bears no relation to description of him

A WOMAN’S latest boyfriend does not match the glowing description she gave to friends, it has emerged.

Gerbil only goes and f**king eats other gerbil

A BELOVED pet gerbil has only gone and f**king eaten his mate.

Brexit definitely going to happen, says Michael Fish

FORMER TV weatherman Michael Fish has confirmed that Brexit is going well and will definitely happen.