News

‘Piss off, you hipster git’ says Mary Berry

BRITAIN cheered last night as Mary Berry told a hipster to get the hell off her television programme.

Paid work is a poor career choice, say employers

WORKERS who demand to be paid are missing out on valuable opportunities to showcase themselves and add to their CVs, it has been claimed.

Australia wants to get its war on

AUSTRALIA has said it is willing to join bombing missions in Iraq, or anywhere else, because it loves a good fight.

Ryanair ‘business class’ just ticket for different airline

RYANAIR has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.

Mafia ‘in awe’ of UK train companies

A GROUP of New York mobsters has visited Britain to get tips on exploitation from train companies.

Seven year-olds to be taught how to end relationships via text

PRIMARY schoolchildren are to be educated in ending relationships by text, email, and Skype.

All new houses to be made of televisions

BUILDERS have completed the first UK home made entirely from television sets.

Apple to reclaim the word ‘gimmick’

TECHNOLOGY giant Apple has launched a campaign to remove the negative connotations of the word ‘gimmick’.