News

Children not as good at cartwheels as they think

THE overall quality of children's cartwheels is very poor despite what they think, it has emerged.

Furious expats to vote through their adult children

EXPATRIATES who cannot participate in the EU referendum have vowed to give their children detailed instructions on how to vote.

Cat to continue sitting in window like he owns the f**king street

A CAT has announced plans to continue sitting in the front window of a house, watching over everything like Stalin in communist Russia.

Fascism crushed by 0.6 percent

AUSTRIAN voters have rejected fascism by a landslide margin of over half a percent.

London flat invisible to the naked eye

A FLAT in London is affordable due to being visible only with a microscope, it has emerged.

Lego preparing for all-out war with Playmobil

LEGO characters are arming themselves in preparation for wiping all Playmobil figures from the face of the earth.

Man and woman trying to work out if this is a date

TWO single people having lunch together are unsure if they are on some sort of date.

How hungry you are may be linked to how much food you should eat

DIET experts are exploring a new theory that an inbuilt sense called ‘hunger’ may somehow indicate how much food we should consume.