KENT residents have said they may never trust the earth again after being hit by a 4.2 magnitude earthquake.
YOUR Henry Hoover comes into your bedroom at night and watches you from inches away, researchers have discovered.
MONEY lender Wonga has replaced its menacing pensioner puppets with even more menacing dinner ladies.
DAVID Cameron has confirmed it is okay to steal stuff from foreigners.
OFSTED School Performance Tables will culminate in play-offs and a Wembley Final.
THE public has been warned to avoid rail travel on any date.
HOUSEHOLDERS have been warned against feeding urban foxes as the animals are fussy and claim to have intolerances.
A GAY wedding cake has turned some bread rolls gay after being left beside them on a bakery counter.