News

Non-Londoner assumed night out in West End would be pleasurable

A MAN visiting London stupidly believed a night out in the West End would be enjoyable.

Trump finding increasingly stupid ways to tell people how clever he is

DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.

Liverpool is not a real place, claims Rupert Murdoch

LIVERPOOL is an entirely fictional city, Rupert Murdoch has insisted.

Parents realise child's first birthday party is total waste of time

A CHILD’S first birthday was marked by his parents going out for a meal, they confirmed.

New Beyonce album very empowering, say defeated boyfriends

A NEW album by Beyonce is extremely empowering for women, according to boyfriends and husbands who would rather have the telly on.

Woman manages to delete Facebook app without making a huge fuss

A WOMAN has caused concern among her friends by deleting Facebook from her phone without making a big deal out if it

Jeremy Hunt urges everyone to do something really risky today

THE health secretary has urged Britain to climb ladders, operate power tools and cross roads without looking for the next two days.

Man who brought own shopping bag wants a f**king medal

A SHOPPER who brought a bag from home expects to be treated like a hero.