A CHILD has been told the only cure for her hamster's illness is to surgically remove it and replace it with a healthy one.
THE Daily Mail has taken delivery of an elaborate chocolate mosque accompanied by an angry note.
PRESIDENT Obama has apparently fled the White House after realising Rupert Murdoch has seen through his deception.
THE Privy Council has become a topic of conversation for the first time in almost 400 years.
A SUPERMARKET delivery driver is wondering why you can’t get your fat arse to a shop.
AN office worker’s collection of amusing desk ornaments hides his sly, toadying personality, it has emerged.
BRITAIN has asked Tesco if it could stop dragging it out and just die.
A COUPLE'S forthcoming wedding has a whole f**king website devoted to it.