News

Homeworker genuinely surprised to learn not everyone browses pornography while working

A HOMEWORKER has been shocked to discover that not all jobs are done while simultaneously browsing pornography.

London to take weeks to recover from 20 minutes of snow

LONDONERS have been warned to brace themselves for severe delays on roads and railways for months to come following yesterday’s 20-minute flurry of snow.

Tony the Tiger finally wins 50-year battle against Ricicles

TONY the Tiger has roared in triumph after finally defeating rival sugar-frosted cereal Ricicles after more than 50 years.

92 per cent of English people think all Scottish people know each other

ALL Scottish people are either related or went to school together, according to the vast majority of English people.

Brexit divorce gives Northern Ireland to UK in week and EU at weekends

THE UK has agreed to share custody of Northern Ireland with the EU, and that it will look after the province Monday to Friday and split school holidays.

Trump retweets Britain First in attempt to win Royal wedding invite

DONALD Trump has retweeted a far-right party’s Islamophobic propaganda in an attempt to get an invite to the Royal wedding.

‘Fake news CNN’ urged to just dig up the dirt that sends this f**ker to jail

AMERICAN media, dubbed ‘fake news’ by Donald Trump, have been urged to finally unearth the story that will leave him rotting in a prison cell.

Man confirms every stereotype about ghastly media wankers

A MAN with some sort of job at a TV company instantly confirms your worst prejudices about media arseholes, it has emerged.