Man’s favourite music genre is commercial dance

A 24-YEAR-OLD man has described his passion for the type of music known as ‘commercial dance’.

Pharrell having a really shit day

POP star Pharrell is in a foul mood today, it has been confirmed.

Free school lunches scrapped as children pay price for causing recession

BRITAIN’S infants will finally be made to pay for causing the financial crash of 2008.

John Lewis begins destruction of Christmas advert song

JOHN Lewis has begun the process of turning a much-loved song into an insipid mess in time for Christmas.

Friday night’s hangover still hanging around

A HANGOVER which began early on Saturday morning is showing no signs of going anywhere late into Sunday.

Northern gonorrhoea hard as nails

THE North’s sexually transmitted diseases can beat any antibiotic on the market without putting their pints down, doctors have confirmed.

Nobody willing to brag about good music they saw on 'Jools'

GOOD new music is going unheralded because nobody will admit to watching Later…with Jools Holland, it has emerged.

Hungary now known for Rubik's Cube, goulash and telling refugees to f**k off

HUNGARY has shown there is more to it than cube puzzles by tear-gassing fleeing Syrians.