News

Man fears completion of DIY project

HOMEOWNER Julian Cook fears his life will become meaningless upon the completion of a six-year DIY project to create a guest bedroom.

Castle Wonga stormed by angry peasants

A MOB with flaming torches has laid waste to Castle Wonga, home of the evil Count Wongula.

Supervoid ‘is evidence of cosmic graphic design’

THE supervoid was carefully placed to make the rest of the universe look 'cleaner', it has been claimed.

Thrilled 'Nessie' hunters eaten by gigantic lizard

FIVE 'Nessie hunters' have been killed and eaten after a thrilling encounter with a giant aquatic lizard.

Open plan restaurants ‘not delivering enough chef carnage’

CHEFS working in open plan kitchens should have more amusing painful mishaps, according to restaurant customers.

Pink hair people launch their manifesto

PEOPLE with pink hair have issued a document explaining who they are and what they want.

Syria-bound family just really hated Stoke

MEMBERS of a British family headed for Syria have confirmed they were just sick of the Midlands.

EU taxpayers okay with not letting people drown

FINDING some room for migrants is preferable to letting them drown, EU taxpayers have stressed.