News

Internet providers to block images of expensive shit that kids want

PARENTS have welcomed a move by broadband providers to shield children from images of desirable toys.

Minimalist cigarette packets make smoking cool again

THE government's contemporary plain packaging for cigarettes has made them desirable once again.

Iraq report could be damaged by frost, claims Chilcot

IF the Chilcot report into the Iraq War is released before the general election it could be killed by a late frost, it has been claimed.

Cows to get minimum wage

BRITAIN's bovine milk suppliers are to receive a guaranteed income for their bodily secretions.

State school alumni dominating the boring menial jobs sector

MORE must be done to stop state school pupils monopolising all the repetitive low-paid jobs, it has been claimed.

Churchill clone actually a bit of an arse

A JURASSIC Park-style clone of Winston Churchill has made Britons realise that the WW2 prime minister may have been an arse.

Cafe refilled Heinz bottles with generic ketchup

A LONDON cafe has been caught refilling its old Heinz sauce bottles with cheaper ‘industrial ketchup’.

Six-year-old writes letter calling Southern Trains money-grubbing f**ks

A SIX-YEAR-OLD girl has written a letter to a train company asking why they are such bastards.