A CAFE specialising in cereal is the sort of maddening hipster idiocy you would be up to if they hadn’t come up with it first.
ANYONE unlucky enough to have a birthday in the next month might as well not bother, research has shown.
SMARTPHONE footage of a Jamie T gig has been acclaimed as superior to actually being there.
THE Queen’s corgis have been left permanently changed after consuming vast quantities of magic mushrooms.
A JUNIOR accountant’s disciplinary proceedings were full of festive cheer because everyone involved was wearing a Christmas jumper.
A MAN has ostensibly forgiven the accidental spillage of his pint while maintaining a threat level close to maximum.
AN egotistical scientist has claimed that a mountain-sized asteroid is headed right at him.
THE government has recommended wildly exaggerated militaristic terms for putting on warm clothes.