THE stars-and-stripes is switching colour scheme to orange, purple and white to match President Trump’s facial colouring.
DONALD Trump has confirmed that the next four years are going to be as fucked up as his campaign.
POLICE in Bristol have tasered the founder of their own race relations group after he suggested they treat black people with respect.
THE final footage for a grainy, event-packed pre-apocalypse montage will be filmed at the Capitol in Washington DC at 5pm today.
IF FAKE news is going to be spread anyway it should be about lovely, happy, fluffy things, researchers have proved.
A RADIO 4 listener is to feign puzzlement about David Beckham’s identity throughout his appearance on Desert Island Discs.
BILLIONS of humans have reassured Donald Trump that it’s fine if he wants to change his mind about becoming president.
A SCREECHING, orange, shit-flinging gibbon will be crowned ruler of the free world later today.