News

Daddy uses all the best words when he’s driving, kids agree

TWO children have agreed that they pick up all the most useful phrases when Daddy is driving them to school.

Queen poleaxes disgraceful Canadian with elbow to the chin

THE Queen has responded to a breach of etiquette by Canada’s Governor General by smashing her elbow into his chin.

We may have too much money, admit couple doing up wet room again

A COUPLE have admitted they may have too much spare cash after deciding to refurbish their shower room for the third time in 10 years.

Facebook told to piss off with this 'Friendversary' thing 


FACEBOOK needs to stop telling people how long they have been friends on Facebook, because no-one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.

Whatever happened to nunchucks? asks Britain

THE number of nunchucks in British homes is at its lowest level since the 1960s, according to new research.

Average person spends 10 years reading idiots’ opinions online

AN AVERAGE person aged between 25 and 45 has spent a full decade reading the opinions of complete idiots on the internet, researchers have found.

Scientists discover homeopaths also make shitty, weak tea

TEA made by homeopaths does not actually contain any active tea ingredients, a study has shown.

Christ, that bloke off Casualty gets shitloads, says Britain

THE UK had no idea that him off Casualty, the one who’s been in it for years, took it home in a f**king wheelbarrow.