News

7,000 miles to meet a f**king idiot, thinks Chinese premier

CHINA'S leader has been reflecting on why he must travel so far to meet a moron.

Families taking term-time holidays face not being able to show off about it

FAMILIES who take term-time holidays risk a fine if they show off about it on social media, it has been confirmed.

This is the only real home I've ever known, tearful Farage tells EU parliament

A SOBBING Nigel Farage has told his fellow MEPs that they are his truest friends and leaving them will be the greatest sorrow of his life.

Man in favour of pre-decimal currency too thick to use it

A MAN who wants to return to pre-decimal currency after Brexit is too thick to understand the confusing system, it has emerged.

People without kids dreading Easter Holidays even more than parents

PEOPLE who prefer to avoid children are concerned that they will be absolutely everywhere next week.

Woman to boycott Pepsi until first moment it's inconvenient

A WOMAN offended at Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi advert has sworn to boycott the drink until the moment it becomes inconvenient.

Cat self-conscious about hairy ears

A CAT'S confidence is being undermined by protruding ear hair, it has emerged.

Listening device found in tapas

A LISTENING device has been discovered hidden inside a prawn at a Spanish restaurant.