Modern progressive man making sure everyone knows it

A MAN who believes in total gender equality takes every available opportunity to mention it.

Estate agents amazed that bedsits in grim bits of London not selling for £1m

LONDON estate agents can see no reason why depressing bedsits in Clapham are not meeting their £1m valuations. 

Last human to use two spaces after a full stop dies

THE last person to still use two spaces after a full stop has died, it has been confirmed.

Local dog named chairman of Neighbourhood Watch

A BORDER terrier has been chosen to head up a street’s Neighbourhood Watch committee.

Man keeping all the plastic tubs from Indian takeaways but won't say why

NO-ONE is quite sure what a middle-aged man plans to do with the dozens of plastic tubs he has been saving from Indian takeaways.

Mum receives handprint-based Mother’s Day card for seventh year running

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has received her seventh Mother’s Day card in a row based on the theme of  'handprints'.

Reverse psychology fails to work on broken zip

PRETENDING you are not bothered about a zip being stuck on a jacket fails to fix it, research has confirmed.

Man suddenly realises he's been sucking his stomach in for eight years

A MAN has suddenly realised he has been overweight for at least eight years.