News

Human-pig hybrids ‘could find themselves delicious’

COMBINING human and pig DNA could create a species that wants to turn itself into sandwiches, scientists have warned.

Every office has one person who is not a dick

THERE is only one person who is okay in any office, it has been claimed.

Smoker worried by hair in pouch of tobacco that already contains formaldehyde

A SMOKER has expressed concern after finding a hair in rolling tobacco that already contained embalming fluid.

Gentrifier couple show terrified middle class parents around their new area

A YOUNG couple have given their frightened relatives a tour of the deprived but ‘up and coming’ area where they have bought a flat.

Highlighting every word of textbook still most effective form of revision

EXPERTS have confirmed that taking a highlighter to 150 straight pages of a textbook is guaranteed to make you pass your exams.

Worker enters seventh year of anger

AN OFFICE worker has been furious with his colleagues, clients and all office equipment for seven years straight, it has emerged.

Brexiters flock to see ‘Weeping Di’ memorial plate

‘OUT’ voters are flocking to see a Princess Diana plate that weeps real tears, it has emerged.

Woman treats weather app like some kind of tribal god that cannot be questioned

A WOMAN reads out the predictions of her weather app like a shaman receiving messages from an ancient god, it has emerged.