AGGRESSIVE swans like those terrorising tourists on the river Cam are to replace Britain’s nuclear arsenal.
A 25-YEAR-OLD woman’s punk-influenced hair has been verbally abusing her family.
EVERY female character in TV and film is now exceptionally determined and hard as nails.
UNMARRIED people are to be forced into strangers' family homes as long-lost aunts or uncles, the government has announced.
REGULARLY eating food protects against death, it has emerged.
RAIL fares will increase by inflation times two, plus the pathetic little pay rise you are probably not going to get anyway.
THE entire line-up of housemates from the just-completed series of Big Brother last night re-entered the house for Celebrity Big Brother.
A RECORD number of students are to study subjects they just found out existed.