News

Homeless fairies getting into smack

FAIRIES evicted from a wood in Somerset have turned to drugs and crime, it has emerged.

Bill Gates 'would give it all up to be cool for just one day'

THE world’s richest man has admitted he would swap it all for 24 hours of coolness.

Enjoyment of film ruined by lurking cursor

A 31-YEAR-MAN has expressed deep frustration at his failure to make the cursor disappear while watching a film on his laptop.

Tarot cards an excuse to say unpleasant things freely

TAROT readers are only doing it to make character judgments for which they would otherwise be punched, it has emerged.

Housing crisis to be solved by starter forests

BRITAIN’S housing crisis will be solved by people living in forests like Ewoks, David Cameron has announced.

Crime and Punishment reclassified as non-Russian novel

DOSTOYEVSKY'S Crime and Punishment cannot be Russian as the country does not seem interested in either, scholars have agreed.

Adult believes her cat can see dead people

GROWN-UP woman Emma Bradford believes her cat can see the spirits of the dead.

Daniel Craig to be first white Shaft

BOOKIES have announced that Daniel Craig is odds on to become the first white actor to portray John Shaft.