A 38-YEAR-OLD Muslim working as a land surveyor in Northampton has been asked how he plans to stop ISIS.
THE Oxford English Dictionary has declared the ‘tears of joy emoji’ as Word of the Year before telling Britain to go f**k itself.
TV COOK Nigella Lawson is possessed by a demon, it has emerged.
THE best place for the ‘Northern Powerhouse’ scheme is probably in London after all, the government has announced.
EVERY olive is to be made into oil after it was confirmed nobody enjoys eating them.
AMATEUR runners have their own rigid class system, it has emerged.
SYRIANS are having a typical Monday, it has been confirmed.
FOOD may be less harmful than previously thought, it has been claimed.