News

45-year-old man finally accepts that some people like rap music

A MIDDLE-AGED music fan who insisted that anyone claiming to enjoy rap music is lying has finally accepted some of them must be genuine.

Successful A-Level student to mention results every day for rest of life

A STUDENT who received top A-Level results plans to work them into every conversation she has for the rest of her life.

Trump to chew long piece of grass while holding shotgun across his shoulders

DONALD Trump is to conduct the rest of 'presidency' while balancing a shotgun across the back of his neck and chewing on a piece of grass.

Paul Dacre swinging Quasimodo-like from Big Ben

DAILY Mail editor Paul Dacre has scaled the Elizabeth Tower and is currently dangling from Big Ben, in protest at its silencing due to renovation work.

UK celebrates record number of shit jobs

THE number of shit jobs in Britain has reached an all-time time high.

Everyone agrees to pretend dubstep didn't happen

DUBSTEP – the music that sounds like a fat horse falling down a well – never occurred, everyone has agreed.

'Cosplay not just fancy dress' says man dressed as Chewbacca or maybe some kind of hairy elf

A MAN who spends his weekends dressing up as some sort of sci-fi chipmunk creature has defended the practice.

Woman giving herself pep talk in mirror accidentally summons Morrissey

A WOMAN giving herself a motivational pep talk in the mirror has accidentally summoned Morrissey.