Trump in battle with hobo Trump

PRESIDENT Trump is locked in a vicious battle with Steve Bannon, his former chief strategist and shambolic, rail-riding alter-ego.

BBC using seven different Attenboroughs

THE BBC has a roster of seven different David Attenboroughs they edit together to make his programmes, they have admitted.

Posh boss casually admits he has never been to the North

A PUBLIC-SCHOOL educated boss has casually admitted that in his 43 years he has never visited the North of Britain.

Arsehole has strange need to outdo whatever you've just said

A MAN cannot listen to a harmless anecdote or mildly amusing comment without trying to do better, it has been confirmed.

No, I was the mate of the idiot president before this one, says Blair

TONY Blair has explained that he was mates with the halfwit president who invaded Iraq, not this butterscotch-whirl-haired knobhead.

Jeremy Hunt’s guide to surviving the NHS

GOING to hospital? That’s your right as a British citizen, until further notice, but before you step past the smokers at the doors you should know what the risks are.

Noisy neighbours silenced by man seriously thinking about going over there 

A GROUP of noisy neighbours turned off their music after a man seriously considered going over there, it has been revealed. 

World 'on the brink' of Trump dick pic

EXPERTS have warned that the world is within a single provocation of being hit by a tweeted dick pic from President Trump.