‘Contactless’ depriving shop staff of deliciously awkward PIN wait

RETAIL staff have complained that contactless payment means they no longer get to stare intensely at customers while their card goes through.

Asking Kay Burley what’s wrong with her is ‘Pandora’s Box on steroids’

THE MP who asked Kay Burley ‘what’s wrong with you’ has done a very bad thing, experts have warned.

Britons mistaking parents for friends

MILLIONS of Britons treat their parents as if they were their friends, it has emerged.

Dogs actually car’s best friend

DOGS have confirmed that their most meaningful relationship is actually with cars.

Snow leopards everywhere

SNOW leopards are probably in your house right now, according to wildlife experts.

Apple Watch to be marketed on ability to tell wearers what the time is

THE Apple Watch is to be advertised purely as a timekeeping device, rather than a weird little computer.

Hipster-owned pets ashamed of their idiotic names

PETS owned by hipsters have expressed anger at being given names that are either jokes or knowing cultural references.

‘Straight Pride’ parade organiser gives up after realising all parades are a bit camp

THE man behind a ‘Straight Pride’ parade has conceded that any succession of floats, marching bands and costumed adults is going to look camp.