News

Child happiness based on them either liking or not liking things

CHILDREN are the same as adults only smaller, according to new research.

Cattery didn't know you were meant to keep them alive

A SHROPSHIRE cattery has apologised to customers for not realising they wanted their cats back still breathing.

Cornwall to celebrate new status with disgusting amount of cream

CORNWALL will today celebrate its new minority status with an unstoppable deluge of fresh cream.

Losing weight now a career

BEING famous for losing weight is an acceptable substitute for a modelling, acting or singing career, say minor celebrities.

BBC unveils new drama The Enunciators

THE BBC has unveiled a new drama which promises some of the most clearly-spoken action ever seen on TV.

UK to introduce 'drink banks'

CHURCH halls and community centres are to offer emergency alcohol supplies to those unable to afford it themselves.

Atheists are delusional, says Conservative Party’s chief Satanist

THE Conservative Party’s Grand Satanic Ambassador has assured atheists that they are totally wrong.

Photoshop expert finds proof of ghosts

AN expert in Photoshop and other graphics software, has found conclusive proof that ghosts exist.