News

Man who can’t get Radio 4 invites patronising posh friend over

A RADIO 4 listener whose radio suddenly died was able to recreate the experience by getting a talkative posh friend to come round.

Two Waitrose shoppers trapped in endless ‘no, after you’ loop

TWO shoppers have become trapped in the doorway of their local Waitrose with both insisting the other goes through first.

Southern Rail improves dramatically after work experience kid takes charge

SOUTHERN Rail’s punctuality has improved by 68 percent after the franchise was taken over by a 16-year-old on work experience.

Iceberg four times bigger than London also four times nicer than London

AN ICEBERG that has broken away from Antarctica is four times the size of London and also four times more hospitable, experts have confirmed.

'Wardrobe essentials' now include little black dress, skinny jeans and a Guns ’N Roses T-shirt

ALL women should have a little black dress, pencil skirt, all-season blazer and a Guns ’N Roses t-shirt in their wardrobe, fashion magazines have decreed.

Electric cab drivers to spout prejudice about people who don't recycle responsibly

DRIVERS of London’s new electric black cabs will spout intolerant, reactionary views about people who damage the environment, they have promised.

If I see a washing machine in a kitchen I vomit all over the floor, says Kirstie Allsopp

KIRSTIE Allsopp has admitted that if she sees a washing machine in a kitchen she vomits all over the floor and will not apologise.

Tom Waits 'early favourite' to be new voice of Kermit the Frog

THE actor and singer-songwriter Tom Waits has emerged as the frontrunner to be the new voice of Muppet-in-chief, Kermit the Frog.