A MIDDLE-CLASS fresher has admitted experimenting with a version of West Indian patois in an attempt to look cool.
THE term 'for a generation' must be used for any vague but long-sounding period of time, experts have confirmed.
ANY bottle of alcohol will instantly look classy when placed in a box, experts have confirmed.
A TICKET inspector has convinced passengers he is taking part in a dickhead contest.
BRITAIN’S newspapers have undergone a moral transformation thanks to the introduction of a new regulator.
A WEATHER forecaster has admitted he is just wasting his time right now.
REFUSING to accept unwanted compliments about your appearance is exactly how Hitler got started, the Daily Mail has warned.
A COUPLE who invited an unattached man and a recently divorced woman to a dinner party are hoping they will breed.