Hospitals demand better TV show about them than Casualty

HOSPITAL staff are demanding a much better television programme about their incredibly hard jobs than Casualty.

Rio Olympics opening ceremony to be not as good

TONIGHT’S 2016 Olympic Games opening ceremony in Rio is widely expected not to be as good as the British one all about us.

Gluten tastes delicious

GLUTEN is the magic ingredient that makes everything from bread to biscuits taste delicious, research has confirmed.

Banks reassure customers that no savings will be passed on to them

THE UK’s borrowers and mortgage-holders have been reassured that yesterday’s interest rate cut will not affect their monthly repayments.

Millions take 'digital detox' to remind themselves how bored they used to be

ONE-THIRD of UK internet users have taken a break from the internet to remember how boring and inconvenient life used to be.

Welsh lottery winners splash out on Wales

A WELSH family who scooped a massive lottery win decided to buy their country of birth, they have revealed.

One in five HSBC cashpoint transactions to release snakes

TWENTY per cent of HSBC cashpoint withdrawals will release deadly venomous snakes in order to restore the bank’s profits, they have confirmed.

Trump gives three-hour talk about UFOs

AFTER claiming the US election is rigged, Donald Trump has given a lengthy slideshow presentation about UFOs and lizard aliens.