News

Sunderland pub named Britain’s best for fighting

THE Mermaid’s Head, a no-frills Wearside boozer that specialises in delivering a proper hiding, has been named the nation’s best fighting pub by The Guardian.

Cameron asked to explain ‘effing’

PUZZLED Scots have asked David Cameron to explain the mystery word in his 'effing Tories' comment.

Page 3 to end as Britain runs out of breasts

THE SUN is to end its topless Page 3 feature because the UK’s supply of tits has been exhausted.

RBS says relocation is scare story and true story

RBS said it will definitely move to London after independence, but admitted that must be really scary for Alex Salmond.

Many surgeons awake during surgery

SOME surgeons have been found to be fully conscious and responding to stimuli while performing operations.

Americans warn Scotland about ‘hope-change bullshit’

ORDINARY Americans have warned Scotland the momentous change it is being sold is total bullshit.

UK fine with Islam if you could get pissed

BRITONS would be happy to live under strict sharia law if they could get pissed, a survey has found.

Line for Apple Watch girdles Earth

THE queue for the new Apple Watch has already circled the entire globe once and is still growing.