MEN who love the films of Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are responsible for Trump’s election victory, it has emerged.
THE USA was so unready to have a woman as president that it would vote for literally anyone else instead, it has been confirmed.
A SMILING president-elect Donald Trump has instructed aides to ‘get them’.
THERE is no ‘glass ceiling’ for utter cocks any more, it has been confirmed.
PEOPLE are hoping for a clear sign that they are in a dream such as being able to fly or copping off with a celebrity, they have revealed.
BRITAIN has woken up relieved to find its idiotic act of self-harm earlier this year is now a piffling historical footnote.
EXPERTS have stressed that of course America is genuinely stupid enough to elect a deranged murder clown as its president.
PRINCE Harry has asked the world’s media if he could just have one relationship that is not immediately ruined by bastard journalists.