News

Colleague with no children who took three holidays last year thinks he’s close to burnout

A SINGLE man with no responsibilities and lots of disposable income believes he is more stressed than everyone else in his office.

It's too late to plan a romantic Valentine's Day so you've fucked up, say experts

IF you have not yet planned Valentine’s Day for your loved one, you have already fucked up and they will know it, experts have confirmed.

Cheese tells newly arrived vegetables they will end up in the bin

A BLOCK of cheddar has told the fresh ingredients for a healthy meal they will be ignored for two weeks before going in the bin.

Women can now eat crisps

WOMEN are finally able to eat crisps with their delicate lady mouths thanks to the launch of a female-friendly version of the popular snack.

Grandmother doing whatever the f**k she wants 


A GRANDMOTHER has confirmed that she has reached an age where socially accepted standards of behaviour no longer apply to her.

Man who wants to know if you can still pay women a compliment would never pay a woman a compliment

A MAN outraged about potentially having a comment misconstrued is in no danger of it ever happening.

Everyone in office can tell man got laid at weekend

AN entire office is painfully aware that one of their colleagues got it at the weekend, it has been confirmed.

Couple sure insanely expensive wedding will make them fancy each other

A COUPLE in the final stages of planning a wedding believe it will finally make them attracted to each other.