THE black coven of warlocks at the heart of the Bank of England will raise interest rates by the new year, they have sworn.
THE fashionable septum piercing will look cool forever much as eyebrow rings do, it has been claimed.
CHILDREN across the country are excited for a long, magical summer of being cared for by whoever is available.
THE New Horizons probe paid for its own fuel to get to Pluto, it has emerged.
THE sequel to Trainspotting will be a superhero film about a man who gets special powers from 'space heroin'.
A TEENAGER has taken the summer job which he will retire from in 2063.
AN AUTHENTICALLY working class area of London will be allowed to continue existing as a tourist attraction.
A LADS-ONLY holiday to Magaluf has been spoiled by one man’s stubborn refusal to behave like an utter twat.