COMMUTERS using Southern Rail will need an advanced degree in modern poetry to know when their train is due.
A 35-YEAR-OLD man is the laughing stock of his office after being seen eating supermarket own-brand Hula Hoops at his desk.
EVERY last poster, mug and T-shirt bearing the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ slogan has been destroyed in frustrated rage, it has emerged.
BORIS Johnson has left the Conservative leadership race to return to the pages of the Beano, he has confirmed.
THE UK’s exit from the EU means the welcome return of the thru’penny bit and the half-crown, it has been confirmed.
CRATELOADS of sensibly-shaped bananas that were banned under the EU have arrived on British shores.
A GUARDIAN reader is secretly enjoying being even more earnest than usual because of Brexit.
A MAN who claims he has been ignored by politicians is actually a lazy dipshit who just likes complaining, it has emerged.