News
Britain Now At Its Most Outraged Since 1747
BRITAIN is now more appalled and outraged than at any point in the last 260 years, it has been confirmed.
Brown Sells You To Some Arab Gentlemen
PRIME minister Gordon Brown returned to the UK last night after successfully negotiating the purchase of you by some Arabs.
Horror As BT Couple Re-Establish Contact
BRITAIN recoiled in horror last night as the BT broadband couple took their first tentative steps towards reconciliation.
Ryanair To Offer £8 Transatlantic Shitfest
RYANAIR is to become the first budget carrier to fly passengers to New York in utter misery for less than a tenner.
Data Stick Makes It As Far As Pub
THE government claimed a major victory for data security last night after a memory stick containing highly-sensitive details made it as far as the pub.
Okay For Babies To Be Born Drunk, Say Docs
NEW evidence suggests it is safe for a baby to be born drunk, doctors said last night.
Latest National Mood To Be Unveiled
SOME of the biggest names in Britain will gather in central London today for the unveiling of the new national mood.
British Public In Depressingly Incoherent Outburst
PUBLIC outrage at the treatment of Andrew Sachs boiled over last night as Britain reached a new peak of furious incoherence.